1 00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:46,630 I'm so happy you picked this dress, Veruca! 2 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,632 - You look beautiful - Doesn't she? 3 00:00:49,425 --> 00:00:52,970 You guys, I'm getting married! I'm getting married! 4 00:00:53,637 --> 00:00:56,640 Not without your veil, you're not 5 00:00:57,141 --> 00:00:59,477 - Where is that bad boy? - Oh, I think I left it upstairs 6 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:03,314 Don't worry. I'll get it 7 00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:05,066 sis 8 00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:11,739 She is so annoying 9 00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:13,449 And so ugly 10 00:01:13,616 --> 00:01:15,326 She looks like Karl Malden 11 00:01:15,493 --> 00:01:18,746 I know, and she's gonna be my sister-in-law in an hour! 12 00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:20,498 How are you gonna deal with that? 13 00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:22,500 I'm just gonna lay down the law for Danny 14 00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:26,170 We're seeing his goofy family as little as possible. 15 00:01:26,337 --> 00:01:28,422 You sure he's gonna go along with that? 16 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:33,302 Danny doesn't say no to me. Believe me, I have him well-trained 17 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:38,474 So, tell us, what happened with Eric last night? 18 00:01:40,184 --> 00:01:42,937 So, I told him if he wanted to stop the wedding 19 00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:45,523 he had to speak now or forever hold his peace 20 00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,024 And what'd he say? 21 00:01:47,191 --> 00:01:50,361 He said he's never gonna settle down, and I should just go ahead and marry Danny 22 00:01:51,529 --> 00:01:53,364 Did he give you a wedding present, huh? 23 00:01:53,531 --> 00:01:54,865 - You're so horny! - Yeah. 24 00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:57,618 I guess you could call it that 25 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,037 You're so bad! 26 00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:04,208 It's the last time, I swear 27 00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:05,543 Yeah, right! 28 00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:10,172 Danny is so sweet and considerate And he's gonna be a cardiologist. 29 00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:14,051 So, I'm marrying him and that zucchini in the middle of his face 30 00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:15,719 His parents are disgusting, too! 31 00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:17,721 Close your eyes when he's on top! 32 00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:19,640 And your thighs! 33 00:02:21,392 --> 00:02:23,394 Cuz, I'm so sorry 34 00:02:23,561 --> 00:02:25,229 Yikes, that hurt. 35 00:02:25,396 --> 00:02:29,358 That was me, Danny Maccabee, 20 years ago Pathetic, huh? 36 00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:34,655 So, I'm halfway done boozing away my sorrows, 37 00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:37,408 when something pretty interesting happened. 38 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:42,746 Oh, baby, you're like a Pop Tart hot and sweet! 39 00:02:44,874 --> 00:02:45,916 Hey, mami! 40 00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:47,751 You must play the trumpet or something 41 00:02:47,877 --> 00:02:51,046 'cause you're making me feel all horny and stuff! 42 00:02:54,592 --> 00:02:55,676 You dropped your purse 43 00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:59,555 Can I just sit for 10 seconds and not get hit on? Thank you 44 00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:04,268 I was just letting you know you dropped your purse. 45 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,607 - I'm sorry. I thought... - That's fine, that's fine 46 00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:12,193 I'm sure you didn't meet the lady who gave you that ring 47 00:03:12,276 --> 00:03:14,111 in a meat market like this 48 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:15,779 School cafeteria 49 00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:17,948 How long you been married? 50 00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:20,910 I was gonna tell her, I really was 51 00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:23,871 But I didn't want her to know what a loser I was, 52 00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:26,582 so I stretched the truth a little 53 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:27,750 Six years 54 00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:29,543 Where's your wife tonight? 55 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:33,631 I stopped asking that question a long time ago. 56 00:03:34,298 --> 00:03:37,134 - That's terrible. - My wife says I work too much 57 00:03:37,301 --> 00:03:41,722 Trying to provide for her her shopping addiction, 58 00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:43,140 and crack 59 00:03:43,307 --> 00:03:44,975 Why don't you just leave her? 60 00:03:45,601 --> 00:03:46,977 The children 61 00:03:47,937 --> 00:03:49,813 All 14 of them 62 00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:55,819 I just, I like to adopt, and I don't wanna stop doing that 63 00:03:56,487 --> 00:03:57,988 You pooT QUV 64 00:03:58,447 --> 00:04:00,157 You wanna get outta here? 65 00:04:00,658 --> 00:04:04,078 And so I discovered the power of the wedding ring 66 00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:08,332 The symbol of my humiliation had become a tool to get back on the horse 67 00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:11,168 Are you kidding me? Snuffleupagus! 68 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:15,798 I switched my specialty from cardiology to plastic surgery, 69 00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:17,675 got rid of the big honker, 70 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:20,761 and the ring became my thing 71 00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:24,682 I just assumed after we got married she'd stop hooking, but... 72 00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:28,769 You need to put this wedding band on a true heart. 73 00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:31,105 This is a good moment 74 00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:35,150 Yeah. Should we go make it last for a while, somewhere? 75 00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:38,195 Okay, let's go. To your dorm 76 00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:43,742 Sometimes I think about throwing the ring into the ocean. 77 00:04:43,826 --> 00:04:46,662 I know how wrong it is. But I can't. 78 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,498 It's my Precious 79 00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:53,877 Besides, being fake married is the perfect way to make sure 80 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:56,880 I never get my heart broken again 81 00:05:08,559 --> 00:05:09,727 What are these? 82 00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,147 Boobie bags 83 00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:16,483 The women, they stick them in their flat chesties, 84 00:05:16,567 --> 00:05:18,569 make them big 85 00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:22,573 These are not the boobie bags that I ordered 86 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:26,827 What is that? It's like a syrup dispenser at an IHOP. I don't know what that is. 87 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:29,580 Come on. These, they don't feel like these 88 00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:32,416 No... Seriously? 89 00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:34,752 I just trying to learn 90 00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:38,714 Listen, Dr. Maccabee would never accept subpar boobs 91 00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:40,591 Would you please just get me what I ordered 92 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,177 and tell Omar that I would like a discount for the inconvenience? 93 00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:45,262 - Yes, ma'am. - Thank you, Simon 94 00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:46,847 - My 4:00 here? - Yeah. 95 00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:49,391 Room one, Kirsten Brant. Don't laugh 96 00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:56,190 Well, I... I had bad plastic surgery 97 00:05:56,774 --> 00:06:00,361 Should've known this doctor was a quack His office was in, like, a warehouse. 98 00:06:00,903 --> 00:06:02,571 Isee, lsee 99 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:05,741 Questions? 100 00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:08,869 No, no. Just, please help me, Doctor 101 00:06:09,078 --> 00:06:14,041 Absolutely. It's usually easier to do these things right the first time, but 102 00:06:15,793 --> 00:06:17,127 What? You seem dubious 103 00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:21,465 Oh, no, not at all. I mean, I hear you're the best, Dr. Maccabee 104 00:06:21,799 --> 00:06:27,054 I don't know about that, but I think we can figure something out here 105 00:06:27,805 --> 00:06:29,640 Relax, relax 106 00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,268 That's relaxed? 107 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:36,772 Here, let me just pull it down for a sec 108 00:06:36,939 --> 00:06:39,316 And I let go. Okay, shoots right back up there 109 00:06:40,943 --> 00:06:44,071 - I'm sorry. - Sorry about what? 110 00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:48,992 Oh, my God! It's just... That just really went right up there 111 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:52,996 That was high. You gotta watch that It's gonna get caught in your hair. 112 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,625 I don't know, maybe I should just keep it like this 113 00:06:56,834 --> 00:06:58,168 It seems to make other people happy 114 00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:01,672 No. But, seriously, are you available for my kid's birthday party? 115 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,425 - That's too much - I'm sorry! 116 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:07,678 Let me give you a hug. That's what you need first. We'll fix this 117 00:07:09,847 --> 00:07:12,975 Oh, God! Okay, I gotta... I'm gonna excuse myself. I'm sorry 118 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,686 Ding-dong! 119 00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:18,605 - Eddie's here. - Hey. My cousin 120 00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:21,358 Oh, my gosh 121 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:24,862 Brows gone wild over here I'm actually digging it. 122 00:07:24,987 --> 00:07:26,029 And what are you doing later? 123 00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:30,451 - Oh, sorry, I'm kind of seeing anybody else - There you go. 124 00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:31,869 Oh, browch 125 00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:33,495 My gosh 126 00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:36,373 Look, I don't know who you're seeing but whoever they are, 127 00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:39,293 they don't have what this guy's got down there, 128 00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:40,461 you know what I mean? 129 00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:41,795 All right, Eddie 130 00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:44,882 Yeah, it's a very good one. I should know, I installed it 131 00:07:45,007 --> 00:07:46,508 You had a penile enlargement? 132 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:48,844 Yes 133 00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:52,556 People really do that? That is hilarious! 134 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,225 See you on the 28th, Dr. Maccabee! 135 00:07:56,560 --> 00:08:00,981 Dude, why are you telling everybody about my surgery? 136 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:04,359 Am I hiding the secrets around here? You don't think Katherine knows about this? 137 00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:07,905 Katherine was in the room when I did that She held the magnifying glass. 138 00:08:08,030 --> 00:08:09,698 I did. And the tvveezer 139 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,074 Real nice 140 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,743 Did you get a chance to try it out yet? 141 00:08:14,036 --> 00:08:18,081 Yeah. I've banged it up. It's got a couple dents. I'm not gonna lie 142 00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:20,167 - Yeah. - You did? 143 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,754 Not from a human. It's got... From this doll I made 144 00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:35,849 Hey, Adon. Yo, yo 145 00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:38,268 Danny! I am so happy you could be here! 146 00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:40,187 - How are you, baby? - Did you bring any Botox? 147 00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,606 I didn't bring the Botox. I brought my cousin, Eddie 148 00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:44,274 Nice to meet you, Eddie 149 00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:47,361 - ls this a Halloween party? - Are you kidding me right now? 150 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:48,612 You got a little more work done, huh? 151 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,781 Yeah, just a little bit, just tweaking, tweaking 152 00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:52,366 Maintenance, maintenance 153 00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:54,618 I just wanna stay in the game, Danny 154 00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:57,204 I don't wanna hit home runs, just some singles. That's all. 155 00:08:57,621 --> 00:09:00,582 You gotta stop, though, I'm telling you. Do you have any feeling in your face? 156 00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:02,626 Just in this one spot right here 157 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:06,547 And then from the eyebrows down dead, dead. 158 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,385 Is that a car alarm? 159 00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:13,428 - He's laughing, he's laughing - Oh, okay. 160 00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:16,390 I wanted to go to your cousin Danny here, but he refused to do any work. 161 00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:19,059 He didn't wanna put his fingers in the pie 162 00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:22,271 It was getting dangerous. This amount You gotta slow it down. 163 00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:25,148 Okay, see? That shouldn't be happening right now 164 00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:27,067 Adon! Adon, Adon, Adon! 165 00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:29,653 Ariel cut open his knee. It looks awful 166 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:32,072 What happened? Settle, settle. What do you expect me to do about it? 167 00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:34,241 - It's bleeding. - You know what? I could stitch him up 168 00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:35,993 - Why don't you go get me my bag? - All right. 169 00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:38,161 So, you fell down the stairs, huh? 170 00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:39,496 Yeah 171 00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:43,750 Did you trip over something? Was there a skateboard there, or 172 00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:46,336 No, I was distracted by something 173 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:47,963 What distracted you? 174 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,172 A girl 175 00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:52,092 A girl, okay. Was it your mother? 176 00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:53,343 O 177 00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:57,180 'Cause she just looks good. That's your stepmom. I can talk like that 178 00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:59,308 All right. This is lidocaine Don't think about it. 179 00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:04,354 Don't think about it. Think about your face Good, good. 180 00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:05,939 Blonde, brunette, redhead? 181 00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:11,862 Blonde, tan, tall, rocking body 182 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,280 Nipples 183 00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:16,700 Want me to numb something else for you? You're getting a little nutty over there. 184 00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:18,452 No! No, I'm good. I'm good 185 00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:21,788 I'm alive! I'm alive, everybody! 186 00:10:32,007 --> 00:10:35,010 Good job, Doctor. That was really nice 187 00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:37,054 The distraction, I'm guessing 188 00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:40,891 - The what? - The boy was distracted. That's why he fell 189 00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:43,226 So, I'm taking the rap for this 190 00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:45,979 Yes. Your hotness basically pushed him down the stairs 191 00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:47,773 Good luck proving that in court Wisengruber. 192 00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:51,026 Wisengruber? ls that what they're saying on the Gossip Girl nowadays? 193 00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:54,363 I knew you two would eventually find each other! 194 00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:57,240 But be careful, Palmer, these plastic surgeons, 195 00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:59,618 they really know how to operate 196 00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:03,914 Yeah, all right, Adon. All right 197 00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:12,422 I just don't know about plastic surgery. I mean, doesn't it always look so fake? 198 00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:14,675 Depends who's doing it. I'm pretty good at it I'm telling you. 199 00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:16,760 - Some of my patients are here tonight - Oh, really? 200 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:21,390 Really, really. Look around, see if you can find someone decent-looking. 201 00:11:22,099 --> 00:11:23,558 How 'bout her? 202 00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:25,143 The lady from Saw? 203 00:11:26,228 --> 00:11:27,729 Fine. Who did you do? 204 00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:31,775 All right. I hate to rat the guy out but see that guy over there? 205 00:11:32,109 --> 00:11:33,777 You mean Sexy Ass? 206 00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:37,572 - Before I met him, he was No Buns Bobby - Really? 207 00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:39,783 - His back went straight to his legs - No kidding. 208 00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:41,952 He'd go to the bathroom, he'd slide right in the toilet 209 00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:45,622 I know, I know, that's really romantic isn't it? 210 00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:49,292 So, North Carolina, how long have you lived here in LA? 211 00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:50,836 I've been here almost two years 212 00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,338 That's a lot of auditioning for you 213 00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:56,341 - You think I'm an actress? - I guarantee you're an actress 214 00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:59,261 Well, guess again, Doc. I teach sixth grade math 215 00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:02,514 They got no schools in North Carolina to teach at? 216 00:12:03,306 --> 00:12:06,017 My parents divorced 217 00:12:06,143 --> 00:12:09,146 Had a pretty nasty one, actually when I was in the eighth grade. 218 00:12:09,271 --> 00:12:13,358 And... I don't know. I got tired of picking sides, so 219 00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:18,196 I thought I'd make a change and, yeah, move out to LA. 220 00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:21,992 You came to the right place No one gets divorced in LA 221 00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:27,038 I've never hung out with a girl your age This is nice. 222 00:12:27,831 --> 00:12:30,333 Oh, no. Your first lie to me 223 00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:32,669 You're good. All right 224 00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:36,047 I've never hung out with a girl your age and 225 00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:39,050 connected the way we are right now 226 00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:43,388 Actually, I've never connected with I don't think any girl at any age. 227 00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:48,351 See? I can tell when you're lying and when you're telling the truth. 228 00:12:49,478 --> 00:12:52,481 Yeah. The second thing I said was the truth 229 00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:54,024 I know 230 00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:09,372 Oh, my God. That was the greatest night of my life 231 00:13:09,915 --> 00:13:13,668 Yeah. This feels like it could be 232 00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:16,087 I don't know, a real thing 233 00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:19,716 It's a thing all right, Palmer 234 00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:21,718 Well, I have to get to work 235 00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:23,053 but how 'bout I take your number 236 00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:26,431 and then you can take me out on a proper date next time? 237 00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:30,685 I got a business card in my pocket if you wanna get that. 238 00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:35,232 You better call. You better not just, just leave me hanging 239 00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:39,361 I'd get it for you myself, but I don't want you to see me naked in the daylight. 240 00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:41,363 It could be a deal breaker 241 00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:47,702 What's this? 242 00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:50,413 A circle? 243 00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:53,250 A wedding ring? You're married? 244 00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:55,627 No, no, no, I'm not, I'm not married 245 00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:58,922 That is a... That is... That's not mine 246 00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:02,300 Whose wedding ring is in your pants, Danny? 247 00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:06,429 All right, listen, just give me a minute to explain this 248 00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:07,889 Please 249 00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,141 It's gonna take more than a minute 250 00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:12,936 - I am such an idiot! - No, no, no, no, no. 251 00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:14,938 Don't call me! 252 00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:16,606 No, Palmer! 253 00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:24,906 I told you that this whole fake marriage thing was just gonna come and bite you in the ass 254 00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:26,783 Why don't you just tell her the truth? 255 00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:28,660 You think I can tell her the truth? 256 00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,288 Let me practice. You be her right now 257 00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:33,164 Oh, good. Okay, hold on 258 00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:38,628 Okay. She's not like that, but anyways 259 00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:41,548 I wear this fake wedding ring sometimes 260 00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:42,674 You're a pig 261 00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:46,678 Sorry. You're a pig 262 00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:48,805 What's wrong? You're walking really weird 263 00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:52,309 My back. I slept on the beach last night God Almighty. 264 00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:54,269 When are you gonna strengthen your spine? 265 00:14:54,686 --> 00:14:58,023 Seriously, Flomax. You gotta work out more than once a month 266 00:14:58,148 --> 00:15:01,318 - I can't, I don't have time to work out - You do. You can't say that, Danny. 267 00:15:01,443 --> 00:15:04,487 My mother always said Cary Grant never went to the gym 268 00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:07,574 Only took the stairs, every day never an elevator. 269 00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:10,160 You wanna hear my impression of Cary Grant's butler? 270 00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:11,286 - Watch. - What? 271 00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:13,663 Hello? No, he's dead 272 00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,498 Okay, bye-bye 273 00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:17,208 That's good. That's funny 274 00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,543 Mom, give me some money 275 00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:21,046 Hi. How are you? 276 00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:24,466 Nice to see you, kids. Please be polite and say hello to Dr. Maccabee. 277 00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:27,469 'Ello, Dr. Danny. 'Ow is you today? 278 00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:30,555 Is that my associate, Dr. Doolittle? Why is she talking like that? 279 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,724 She's been working on some accents 280 00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:36,019 I am takin' an acting class this summer, I is 281 00:15:36,186 --> 00:15:38,688 Gonna be the next Miley Cyrus, I am 282 00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:41,316 How 'bout you, young man? Do you like Hannah Montana? 283 00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:43,318 No. I like Californication 284 00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:46,196 When do you ever watch Californication? 285 00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:49,324 Rosa lets us watch Showtime when she calls her boyfriend. 286 00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:52,535 Eat the mushroom! Eat the mushroom! Yes! 287 00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:55,205 You run a tight ship at home, huh? 288 00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:56,539 Dr. Danny? 289 00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:57,874 Yeah? 290 00:15:57,999 --> 00:16:00,710 Will you take me to Hawaii so I can swim with the dolphins? 291 00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:03,380 Take you to Hawaii? No 292 00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:06,049 I saw a show on the Discovery Channel 293 00:16:06,216 --> 00:16:09,761 They say in Hawaii they have dolphins that you can swim with if you pay money 294 00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:11,096 OKEY 295 00:16:11,262 --> 00:16:14,015 But I don't have any money. And my mom says you're rich 296 00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:16,017 - Michael! - No, it's fine 297 00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:20,397 Maybe you should make your own money. Maybe a paper route or something like that? 298 00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:24,109 'Cause rich people don't give other people trips 299 00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:26,236 That's why they remain rich You understand? 300 00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:29,864 But my mom says you do charity for kids all the time. 301 00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:35,286 I do charity work like I fix a cleft lip or a child's deformity. 302 00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:38,415 I don't take them to Hawaii I could get arrested for that 303 00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:41,876 What if I was deformed? Then would you take me to Hawaii? 304 00:16:42,419 --> 00:16:45,672 If you were deformed, I'd bring you to Hawaii but I'd leave you there, 305 00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:47,090 cause I wouldn't want to look at you 306 00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:48,967 Okay. Here's the money, and I want change 307 00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:52,429 And I wanna hear back that you actually ate the food that I am paying for. 308 00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:55,807 Mom, before we go, can I make a Devlin? 309 00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:58,560 Sure. Down the hall. Will you please go with him? 310 00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:01,354 We open in five minutes and I am not having him sit there forever 311 00:17:01,438 --> 00:17:03,440 Bloody hell right, I will, Mumsy! 312 00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:05,734 All right, Winston Churchill 313 00:17:05,817 --> 00:17:08,445 He said, I gotta make a Devlin What does that mean? 314 00:17:09,112 --> 00:17:12,782 It's just a friend of mine who was in my sorority in college 315 00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:15,285 named Devlin Adams, and 316 00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:17,620 Well, I wouldn't say friend I'd say more my nemesis. 317 00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:19,914 - Oh, so she was a frenemy? - Yes. 318 00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:23,001 You'd probably like her She's really, really fake 319 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:28,465 Always had to have the coolest clothes and the hottest boys and, you know... 320 00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:30,633 - She bothers you - A lot. 321 00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:33,386 So, one night, I was just having a glass of wine 322 00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:35,472 - A bottle - A bottle 323 00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:41,311 And I just got so tired of the kids saying things like, "I gotta take a crap" 324 00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:42,812 I gotta take a dump 325 00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:47,567 "So, I told them that it was called making a Devlin," and they liked it 326 00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:48,693 And it stuck 327 00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:51,154 I always call it making a black pickle 328 00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:52,989 - Making a what? - I don't say that. 329 00:17:53,156 --> 00:17:54,991 - Out loud? Good - To others. No. 330 00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:56,993 What are we gonna do about my love life, though? 331 00:17:57,118 --> 00:18:00,205 Oh, Danny, I would feel terrible for you if I had any 332 00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:04,125 even the slightest, investment in you successfully banging 23-year-olds. 333 00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:06,836 Holy Devlin, you're not listening to me 334 00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:12,008 This is like not some bull-Devlin fling I mean, I'm serious. 335 00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:13,676 This is the real Devlin. I could 336 00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:17,013 I swear to God, I could see myself ending up with this girl 337 00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:21,518 You're right. You can't tell her the truth 338 00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:22,852 High score! 339 00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:24,813 Oh, God. Sorry 340 00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:26,898 I'm glad someone's doing good 341 00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:30,193 You know what? You don't wanna get serious, 342 00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:32,529 cause when you get serious, that leads to marriage, 343 00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:35,115 and then marriage leads to divorce, and divorce is just... 344 00:18:35,198 --> 00:18:36,324 I mean, look at these poor kids 345 00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:38,910 You know, their dad was supposed to pick them up today. 346 00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:40,370 - He was a no-show? - Again. 347 00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:41,746 But you know what? 348 00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:44,374 At least I got my head together and I divorced him. 349 00:18:44,541 --> 00:18:45,750 Yeah, yeah 350 00:18:48,253 --> 00:18:49,420 Wait a minute 351 00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:57,846 You go ahead without me 352 00:18:58,221 --> 00:19:00,723 Oh, no, no, no. Palmer, Palmer, Palmer, Palmer, Palmer 353 00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,267 I told you I didn't want to see you 354 00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:04,060 I just want to explain something to you 355 00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:06,396 Let me explain something to you 356 00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:10,775 I do not date married men 357 00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:12,610 My father cheated on my mom when I was young. 358 00:19:12,735 --> 00:19:14,529 I am not going to be the other woman! 359 00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:16,573 Adulterer! Fornicator! 360 00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:18,825 All right, take it easy, Damien, all right? 361 00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,743 Okay, his name is Silas, leave him out of this 362 00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:23,246 I'll kill you 363 00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:25,415 What? Anytime! 364 00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:28,293 Listen! I am married 365 00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:32,589 But it is a horrible marriage. She doesn't even talk to me any more 366 00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:34,299 Danny, that's what all married men say 367 00:19:34,716 --> 00:19:36,467 If it's so bad, why don't you get divorced? 368 00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:37,927 Am 369 00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:42,098 - You are? - Yes! It's over 370 00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:45,435 Oh, my God, I can't believe this I destroyed a marriage! 371 00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:47,687 I really feel like I'm gonna be sick. I can't 372 00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:51,900 No, no, it wasn't 'cause of you! I filed a long, long time ago. 373 00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:55,278 We're gonna sign the papers in a couple of days 374 00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:57,447 and it's like, she's dead to me 375 00:19:57,780 --> 00:19:58,823 What's her name? 376 00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:00,408 Mrs. Maccabee 377 00:20:01,618 --> 00:20:05,663 You mean her first name? Her first name is Devlin. 378 00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:07,957 Her name's Devlin? 379 00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:10,835 Isn't that a shitty name? Yeah, yeah, yeah 380 00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:14,797 But Devlin and I are splitting up, fortunately 381 00:20:15,089 --> 00:20:19,219 cause I caught her cheating on me with another guy. 382 00:20:19,302 --> 00:20:20,428 I didn't catch her 383 00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:24,641 The television show Cheaters caught her and the guy. 384 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:29,187 And I told them not to air it, though because it's too painful. 385 00:20:29,312 --> 00:20:33,274 They actually burned the tape so you can't see it. But I would love you to 386 00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:35,318 There's another man? 387 00:20:35,610 --> 00:20:38,279 There's another guy, yes. Dolph 388 00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:39,864 Dolph? 389 00:20:39,989 --> 00:20:42,825 Dolph Lundgren. Yeah 390 00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:44,494 Like the guy from Rocky IV? 391 00:20:44,661 --> 00:20:47,163 No, no, a different Dolph Lundgren 392 00:20:47,497 --> 00:20:52,168 Apparently, if you bring that one up this one gets really angry, so don't. 393 00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:54,212 Danny, guys always say they're gonna leave their wives 394 00:20:54,337 --> 00:20:55,380 They never do 395 00:20:55,505 --> 00:20:57,590 I'm telling you, she's happy with this Dolph guy 396 00:20:57,674 --> 00:20:59,842 good for her. Now I wanna be happy 397 00:20:59,968 --> 00:21:02,178 And the only way I can be happy is if I'm with you! 398 00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:03,346 All right? 399 00:21:03,846 --> 00:21:08,643 Just wanna be able to be with you and not be called a "fornicator" 400 00:21:08,726 --> 00:21:12,230 or an "adulterer" or whatever that Children of the Corn kid was calling me 401 00:21:12,981 --> 00:21:13,982 OKEY 402 00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:15,191 Okay? 403 00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:17,193 I just need to hear it from her 404 00:21:18,361 --> 00:21:20,571 How about if she texts you would that be good? 405 00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:22,031 I need to meet her 406 00:21:27,870 --> 00:21:29,038 Let's do it 407 00:21:29,580 --> 00:21:31,541 You want me to be your wife? 408 00:21:31,874 --> 00:21:33,918 And you couldn't think of another name, other than Devlin? 409 00:21:34,043 --> 00:21:36,587 I practically took a Devlin in my pants when she asked me. 410 00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:38,923 "What's her name?" I got panicked I get nervous around this girl. 411 00:21:39,048 --> 00:21:42,385 You got panicked? You who invents a fake wife every Friday night? 412 00:21:42,510 --> 00:21:44,971 Yeah. Doesn't that say something about what I feel about this girl? 413 00:21:45,054 --> 00:21:46,222 Have you ever thought about the time 414 00:21:46,347 --> 00:21:48,182 that she's actually gonna walk into your office 415 00:21:48,266 --> 00:21:52,353 and sees that I'm your assistant/receptionist? 416 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:55,606 So easy. I'm a plastic surgeon, you will never look like you again 417 00:21:55,857 --> 00:21:57,650 - Snip, snap. Chip, chap. - What are you talking about? 418 00:21:57,734 --> 00:21:59,319 I'm kidding. I'll get you a fake mustache 419 00:21:59,402 --> 00:22:02,363 Oh, my God, you've really, really not thought this through. 420 00:22:02,447 --> 00:22:05,325 Will you please just look at some clothes? 421 00:22:05,408 --> 00:22:07,160 Look at that. I don't wear 422 00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:10,079 I have clothes, by the way. I do not need to do any of this. I'm fine 423 00:22:10,204 --> 00:22:11,914 Yes. You have the best clothes that Old Navy sells. 424 00:22:12,081 --> 00:22:14,042 I'm just saying you gotta look like a plastic surgeon's wife. 425 00:22:14,125 --> 00:22:16,502 I want to create the illusion I had a hot first wife. 426 00:22:16,586 --> 00:22:17,962 - You're so. - Not this! 427 00:22:18,087 --> 00:22:20,798 Okay, come on, let's go, you asked for it I'm ready. 428 00:22:25,094 --> 00:22:28,389 - Wow! These are... Oh, geez - Nice, nice. 429 00:22:28,473 --> 00:22:31,559 It's just been a while since I've been in heels, sorry 430 00:22:31,726 --> 00:22:33,644 - Okay, okay. - Oh, gosh. Okay 431 00:22:33,811 --> 00:22:35,521 Get there. Yeah, great 432 00:22:35,605 --> 00:22:39,067 Oh, my God! These are gorgeous! 433 00:22:39,317 --> 00:22:41,402 - How much are these? - $1,700. 434 00:22:41,652 --> 00:22:44,113 $1,700? What, do you come with them? 435 00:22:45,156 --> 00:22:48,326 My parents' house costs $1,700. No, no 436 00:22:49,494 --> 00:22:53,414 No. What, did Mickey Mantle sign those? Why are they $1,700, they made outta panda? 437 00:22:53,581 --> 00:22:54,832 - Walk away. - Yeah. You know what? 438 00:22:54,999 --> 00:22:56,751 We won't really be needing them anyway 439 00:22:56,918 --> 00:22:58,669 Cause I'm actually starting to 440 00:22:58,836 --> 00:23:02,340 I'm actually starting to feel not so hot ls it warm in here? 441 00:23:02,507 --> 00:23:04,801 I'm not sure I'll be able to make it this evening. 442 00:23:05,426 --> 00:23:08,471 Very good. Okay, you know what? We'll take them. 443 00:23:09,639 --> 00:23:11,766 - It's your Christmas bonus - Oh, really? 444 00:23:11,849 --> 00:23:13,601 Okay, then I would like them in blue, too 445 00:23:13,684 --> 00:23:16,354 In case a heel breaks or I just want to cuddle 446 00:23:16,521 --> 00:23:18,439 - It's beautiful. - You sicken me 447 00:23:18,648 --> 00:23:20,441 Yes, well, that's why we're getting a divorce 448 00:23:20,525 --> 00:23:23,694 We're getting a divorce because you're greedy, schemy and selfish 449 00:23:25,446 --> 00:23:28,116 Actually, I think you need to get the matching bag, too. 450 00:23:28,282 --> 00:23:30,034 Yeah, I think I should 451 00:23:30,201 --> 00:23:31,994 Thank you, Laurie. I agree 452 00:23:32,161 --> 00:23:33,913 All the girls are sticking together Isn't that sweet? 453 00:23:33,996 --> 00:23:35,623 She's on your side, what a shock 454 00:23:35,832 --> 00:23:38,668 - You asked for this. Trust me - You asked for this. 455 00:24:07,363 --> 00:24:08,364 O 456 00:24:10,199 --> 00:24:11,200 O 457 00:24:17,498 --> 00:24:21,043 Hell, no! No, no, no! 458 00:24:21,169 --> 00:24:22,253 What do you mean, no? 459 00:24:22,420 --> 00:24:23,838 No? No what? 460 00:24:24,005 --> 00:24:27,091 No hope. Okay? There's only one word for it 461 00:24:27,258 --> 00:24:29,510 - What is it? - Neglect. 462 00:24:30,219 --> 00:24:33,055 Okay? This is the one word for the whole thing. Are you the husband? 463 00:24:33,222 --> 00:24:35,433 I'm the soon to be ex-husband 464 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:36,767 We're getting a divorce 465 00:24:36,934 --> 00:24:39,437 Well, you know he's not divorcing you He's divorcing your head. 466 00:24:39,604 --> 00:24:41,439 True 'dat, Ernesto. Right on the money 467 00:24:41,606 --> 00:24:44,108 Your hair is so messed up, I don't even Let me count the ways. 468 00:24:44,275 --> 00:24:47,236 It's dull, it's dead, it's flat 469 00:24:47,403 --> 00:24:49,989 - Don't forget smelly. - It don't smell, particularly 470 00:24:50,072 --> 00:24:51,532 - Okay, I think we got it - You bad. 471 00:24:51,616 --> 00:24:53,868 You is bad. Give me a little bit That's bad, though. 472 00:24:54,035 --> 00:24:57,622 You guys, come on, seriously. Ernesto, can you just, please, 473 00:24:58,122 --> 00:25:00,791 do something, so we can be home and I can get out of here? 474 00:25:00,958 --> 00:25:04,378 Hurricane Katrina could do something, baby I'm gonna do something transcendent. 475 00:25:04,462 --> 00:25:06,631 Katya! Yuri, Mrs. Hwiggins! 476 00:25:06,756 --> 00:25:07,924 We going in deep, y'all 477 00:25:09,926 --> 00:25:11,385 You seem nervous, Danny 478 00:25:11,552 --> 00:25:14,597 No, no, I just... It's weird, she gets me very tense 479 00:25:14,764 --> 00:25:16,140 I'm sorry to put you through this 480 00:25:16,307 --> 00:25:17,767 No, I understand why we're doing this 481 00:25:17,892 --> 00:25:19,852 I'm just looking forward to getting past this part of my life 482 00:25:19,936 --> 00:25:21,729 and moving on to the good part 483 00:25:21,812 --> 00:25:25,316 We will. Soon. Tonight 484 00:25:25,441 --> 00:25:26,817 Good God, yes 485 00:25:46,003 --> 00:25:47,838 ls that her? 486 00:25:48,506 --> 00:25:49,840 I think so 487 00:25:53,052 --> 00:25:54,387 She's stunning 488 00:25:55,221 --> 00:25:57,139 I love her shoes 489 00:25:57,306 --> 00:26:00,726 Yeah, well, she got about five pairs of them Maybe she'll give you one. 490 00:26:02,228 --> 00:26:05,898 Henderson! Do you see Dr. Maccabee anywhere in this 491 00:26:06,983 --> 00:26:09,860 There he is. Keep the car running, shan't be long 492 00:26:10,861 --> 00:26:12,071 Hello, boring! 493 00:26:12,238 --> 00:26:13,864 Hey. You went with a limo driver? 494 00:26:14,031 --> 00:26:15,575 I'm just playing the part 495 00:26:15,741 --> 00:26:17,034 OKEY 496 00:26:17,493 --> 00:26:19,829 Palmer! Hi 497 00:26:20,079 --> 00:26:22,665 Devlin Maccabee. Soon to be, single-abee 498 00:26:24,333 --> 00:26:27,461 Waiter! Excuse me. Anybody? 499 00:26:27,545 --> 00:26:29,880 Yes, yes. Something to drink, madam? 500 00:26:30,256 --> 00:26:35,511 Well, hello. I would like a tall glass of you ls that possible? Meow! 501 00:26:36,554 --> 00:26:39,181 I'm just kidding. Unless you're really into it 502 00:26:40,433 --> 00:26:42,518 Kidding again. No, I'm not 503 00:26:43,227 --> 00:26:47,273 We don't know. Grey Goose martinis, just keep 'em coming. Okay. 504 00:26:47,732 --> 00:26:50,234 Make that a dirty martini. Okay? 505 00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:51,527 Okay, that was a good one 506 00:26:51,694 --> 00:26:54,196 Well, so, Palmer 507 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:55,698 I heard you and Danny had sex 508 00:26:59,577 --> 00:27:03,372 Yes. I am so sorry, I had 509 00:27:03,539 --> 00:27:05,958 Please, honey, it is fine 510 00:27:06,250 --> 00:27:09,670 I'm just happy to hear that his thing-a-ding can still ring-a-ding. 511 00:27:09,754 --> 00:27:13,215 'Cause he's got a serious small issue 512 00:27:14,258 --> 00:27:16,052 with ED. Over here 513 00:27:16,135 --> 00:27:17,261 OKEY 514 00:27:17,386 --> 00:27:18,804 What's ED? I don"[ 515 00:27:18,971 --> 00:27:21,057 Oh, gosh. I forgot. You're fifteen 516 00:27:22,892 --> 00:27:26,145 Erectile dysfunction, my darling 517 00:27:26,562 --> 00:27:30,399 Think about it as if you're trying to throw darts and you just 518 00:27:30,483 --> 00:27:33,944 All you really got, you're shooting with like, overcooked spaghetti. 519 00:27:34,070 --> 00:27:35,237 Okay. Yeah 520 00:27:35,571 --> 00:27:39,533 I just think that my spaghetti wasn't loving the meatballs that was being served. 521 00:27:39,617 --> 00:27:42,078 They were a little too lumpy 522 00:27:42,787 --> 00:27:48,084 I've heard from a lot of men that I serve the finest meatballs in Southern California 523 00:27:48,292 --> 00:27:52,254 Of course. A lot of homeless men have said this 524 00:27:52,421 --> 00:27:54,298 They'll eat anything, you know 525 00:27:55,007 --> 00:27:58,886 I'm just very shocked that you remember anybody you've ever been with. 526 00:27:58,969 --> 00:28:01,263 With all the pills that are in your system 527 00:28:01,847 --> 00:28:03,265 She likes the pills, this one 528 00:28:03,432 --> 00:28:04,975 At night I come home, "What's for dinner?'" 529 00:28:05,267 --> 00:28:08,562 Well, we have purple pills, and the green ones 530 00:28:08,646 --> 00:28:13,025 "and some lovely yellow bombers I just took out of the oven." 531 00:28:13,150 --> 00:28:14,276 Remember that? 532 00:28:15,778 --> 00:28:17,947 I had to do something to amuse myself 533 00:28:18,030 --> 00:28:23,619 while this one sat on the throne for hours dealing with his irritable bowel syndrome. 534 00:28:23,828 --> 00:28:25,621 I got another disease. Okay 535 00:28:25,705 --> 00:28:31,043 Can I tell you, I spent the eve of our wedding sitting on the bed, 536 00:28:31,127 --> 00:28:35,756 listening to what sounded like an underwater symphony, 537 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:40,803 of French horns and bassoons coming out of our hotel bathroom 538 00:28:41,137 --> 00:28:44,807 Mix that with the smell of like a dead cat and some fajitas 539 00:28:45,057 --> 00:28:50,020 and you've got what you call yourself a severely diminished libido. 540 00:28:52,398 --> 00:28:53,983 Did you just kick me? 541 00:28:54,316 --> 00:28:57,361 No. Did you? You kicked her? Why'd you kick her? 542 00:28:57,820 --> 00:29:00,990 Yeah, I don't... l... Yes. I... I have leg spasms 543 00:29:04,368 --> 00:29:07,329 It's a side effect. Terrible side effect from all the pill popping 544 00:29:07,413 --> 00:29:11,542 But, you know, it's all better now. I'm clean and sober and I apologize 545 00:29:11,667 --> 00:29:12,710 It's okay 546 00:29:12,835 --> 00:29:15,755 Thirteenth step, right there. Back to drinking 547 00:29:16,505 --> 00:29:19,842 Henderson, you thoughtless oaf stop texting, open that door. 548 00:29:20,342 --> 00:29:22,344 - Why do you keep calling me Henderson? - Just go with it. 549 00:29:22,678 --> 00:29:24,889 Palmer, so lovely to meet you 550 00:29:25,347 --> 00:29:26,891 Likewise, really 551 00:29:27,224 --> 00:29:28,768 I mean, look at you two 552 00:29:29,101 --> 00:29:31,854 - I mean, it's like, Barbie and - Yes. 553 00:29:33,063 --> 00:29:34,732 Grandpa Ken 554 00:29:36,358 --> 00:29:42,281 I mean... And even though it did not work out between us at all... 555 00:29:42,907 --> 00:29:44,742 It's like it never happened. You know? 556 00:29:44,867 --> 00:29:46,035 It really isn't 557 00:29:46,118 --> 00:29:48,496 - I still want my Danny to be happy - Oh, look at that. 558 00:29:48,579 --> 00:29:49,747 Happy, happy, happy 559 00:29:49,872 --> 00:29:51,040 - Good night, kiddo - Okay. 560 00:29:51,248 --> 00:29:52,541 Hello 561 00:29:53,209 --> 00:29:54,919 It's her drug dealer I'm thinking 562 00:29:55,294 --> 00:29:56,879 Okay, please put her on the phone right now 563 00:29:57,588 --> 00:29:58,839 Are you kidding me, honey? 564 00:29:58,923 --> 00:30:03,552 You know how I feel about you selling your brother's stuff on eBay 565 00:30:04,053 --> 00:30:05,638 Hey, hey, hey. Take that in the car 566 00:30:05,721 --> 00:30:06,847 No. It's okay 567 00:30:06,931 --> 00:30:11,727 I will deal with you when I get home, young lady. Okay 568 00:30:12,061 --> 00:30:14,104 I mean, you would think 569 00:30:17,107 --> 00:30:18,609 You have kids? 570 00:30:21,403 --> 00:30:23,030 You have... You have children? 571 00:30:23,781 --> 00:30:28,494 We have sort of a little bit... A little bit of children, right? 572 00:30:28,577 --> 00:30:31,288 When were you planning on telling me about these children, Danny? 573 00:30:31,413 --> 00:30:35,960 I don't know, but listen, I have to go get to those little munchkins 574 00:30:36,085 --> 00:30:38,045 Palmer, so nice, seriously 575 00:30:38,128 --> 00:30:39,213 Danny 576 00:30:41,048 --> 00:30:42,800 No, no, no, hey, hey 577 00:30:43,092 --> 00:30:44,426 OKEY 578 00:30:47,304 --> 00:30:49,431 Are you freaked out right now about all this or... 579 00:30:50,140 --> 00:30:52,810 Actually, just the opposite 580 00:30:53,269 --> 00:30:55,813 The opposite of freaked out? What do you mean? Good? 581 00:30:55,938 --> 00:30:58,357 - You know that I love kids - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 582 00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:00,442 I just never pegged you as a kids guy 583 00:31:00,776 --> 00:31:04,989 I'm a huge kids guy. I love kids Kids, kids, kids. ls... 584 00:31:05,114 --> 00:31:07,241 Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's my thing That's my bumper sticker. 585 00:31:07,324 --> 00:31:08,576 What are their names? 586 00:31:09,285 --> 00:31:12,663 What are their names again? There is 587 00:31:13,247 --> 00:31:17,501 the girl who, of course, is Kiki Dee 588 00:31:17,793 --> 00:31:21,171 And then the boy's name's Bart 589 00:31:21,463 --> 00:31:24,675 Which of course is short for Barto 590 00:31:24,842 --> 00:31:26,176 Well, I wanna meet them! 591 00:31:26,969 --> 00:31:28,012 Of course you do 592 00:31:28,804 --> 00:31:30,431 So our mom doesn't know that you took us today? 593 00:31:30,514 --> 00:31:31,724 Not yet 594 00:31:31,807 --> 00:31:33,434 You know this is kidnapping 595 00:31:33,517 --> 00:31:34,685 Stranger danger 596 00:31:34,810 --> 00:31:36,061 What? No 597 00:31:36,145 --> 00:31:38,772 ls the guy from Dateline NBC gonna walk in? 598 00:31:38,856 --> 00:31:43,277 No! I know you two a long time and Rosa's here 599 00:31:45,654 --> 00:31:47,489 Doing whatever that Rosa does 600 00:31:48,198 --> 00:31:49,825 - God, she's freaky - Yeah. 601 00:31:49,950 --> 00:31:50,993 So here's the deal 602 00:31:51,368 --> 00:31:56,332 How would you like to be my pretend children for one afternoon? 603 00:31:57,333 --> 00:31:59,418 Why don't you just tell that poor girl the truth? 604 00:31:59,501 --> 00:32:00,586 You know? 605 00:32:00,669 --> 00:32:03,714 Our mother tells us everything Wedding ring boy. 606 00:32:03,839 --> 00:32:04,965 - What? - Oh, my goodness! 607 00:32:05,049 --> 00:32:07,968 Did you see Gossip Girl last night? It was so good! 608 00:32:08,052 --> 00:32:09,929 No, she's not like that 609 00:32:10,012 --> 00:32:12,222 Your mother's presenting her in a weird, weird way. 610 00:32:12,348 --> 00:32:14,975 I'm just saying, telling the truth is not in the cards right now. 611 00:32:15,059 --> 00:32:17,519 I thought you'd be excited to have an acting job. 612 00:32:17,645 --> 00:32:19,813 If it's an acting job, we should get paid 613 00:32:19,897 --> 00:32:22,358 Yeah, you're gonna get paid in experience 614 00:32:22,483 --> 00:32:24,360 I wanna actually get paid 615 00:32:25,486 --> 00:32:26,737 All right, what do you want? 616 00:32:26,904 --> 00:32:31,241 $600 for the day, plus overtime if we go over eight hours. 617 00:32:31,367 --> 00:32:32,868 I'll do my own hair and makeup 618 00:32:32,993 --> 00:32:35,955 And I want you to pay for the six-week intensive acting camp 619 00:32:36,038 --> 00:32:37,373 that my mom can't afford 620 00:32:38,165 --> 00:32:42,378 $50 for the day and a two-week acting class at the YMCA nearest you. 621 00:32:42,836 --> 00:32:45,005 $500 and a four-week acting class 622 00:32:45,214 --> 00:32:47,508 $300 and a three-week class 623 00:32:47,841 --> 00:32:48,884 Done 624 00:32:50,260 --> 00:32:52,262 I would have done it for $500 625 00:32:52,888 --> 00:32:54,556 I would have done it for the experience 626 00:32:57,101 --> 00:32:58,185 Michael, you're up 627 00:32:58,352 --> 00:32:59,436 Opener? 628 00:32:59,603 --> 00:33:03,399 I want you to take me to Hawaii so I can swim with the dolphins. 629 00:33:03,565 --> 00:33:05,234 You're not gonna let that one go, are you? 630 00:33:05,442 --> 00:33:07,444 We're not going to Hawaii, pal Anything else? 631 00:33:07,569 --> 00:33:09,571 Find someone else then 632 00:33:15,744 --> 00:33:19,581 Ooh, the Mafia stare down Very good, Michael. 633 00:33:19,748 --> 00:33:22,918 We're here to negotiate. Do you have anything else you might like? 634 00:33:23,585 --> 00:33:24,878 I want a flying pony 635 00:33:24,962 --> 00:33:27,464 I want a flying pony too, Michael but they don't exist. 636 00:33:28,215 --> 00:33:31,260 Then I want a regular pony. And I want to name him Nelson 637 00:33:31,593 --> 00:33:34,304 How about a Playstation 3 and we name him Nelson? 638 00:33:35,139 --> 00:33:36,265 Keep talking 639 00:33:36,473 --> 00:33:38,308 We'll include four video games 640 00:33:38,434 --> 00:33:39,476 Five games 641 00:33:39,601 --> 00:33:43,272 And I want the meeting with blondie to be at J.D. McFunnigan's. 642 00:33:43,397 --> 00:33:45,774 How 'bout Charlie Choo-Choo's cause it's right down the street from me 643 00:33:46,150 --> 00:33:48,652 Mention that slop-hole again and I walk 644 00:33:48,777 --> 00:33:51,155 All right, take it easy, son. Take it easy 645 00:33:51,447 --> 00:33:55,993 And I want unlimited tokens. If I can spend 'em, I wanna have 'em 646 00:33:56,118 --> 00:33:59,621 I don't wanna be like playing Skee-Ball and all of a sudden run out of tokens. 647 00:34:00,289 --> 00:34:03,959 All right, I can make that happen So do we have a deal? 648 00:34:07,087 --> 00:34:08,130 Deal 649 00:34:08,422 --> 00:34:10,799 Deal's off unless you eat that pizza, though Seriously. 650 00:34:14,136 --> 00:34:15,596 Can I do an accent? 651 00:34:15,679 --> 00:34:17,264 - Let me hear some - 'Ello! 652 00:34:17,347 --> 00:34:18,849 - No. - Okay 653 00:34:19,266 --> 00:34:21,894 My kids? Have you completely lost your mind? 654 00:34:21,977 --> 00:34:23,687 Are you kidding me right now? 655 00:34:23,812 --> 00:34:25,481 You're the one who picked up your cell phone 656 00:34:25,939 --> 00:34:26,940 That is not 657 00:34:27,024 --> 00:34:28,317 Mrs. Harrington 658 00:34:29,693 --> 00:34:31,361 The doctor will see you now 659 00:34:32,821 --> 00:34:35,282 I can't believe you're doing all of this just so you can get some. 660 00:34:35,365 --> 00:34:37,117 It's just gross. You're just pathetic 661 00:34:37,201 --> 00:34:39,578 I'm not trying to get some I already got some. 662 00:34:39,661 --> 00:34:43,082 And yes, I'd like to continue getting some I'm pro me getting some. 663 00:34:43,165 --> 00:34:46,168 Have a seat right there, Mrs. Harrington Remove your shirt, if you could. 664 00:34:47,002 --> 00:34:52,216 I smell something. You smell something? I smell perfume. 665 00:34:55,010 --> 00:34:56,220 Is that coming from you? 666 00:34:58,222 --> 00:34:59,389 Maybe 667 00:34:59,973 --> 00:35:01,225 What, you got a date or something? 668 00:35:01,517 --> 00:35:04,144 I don't have a date. I have a lunch 669 00:35:04,394 --> 00:35:06,396 You got a lunch? Who you got a lunch with? 670 00:35:07,064 --> 00:35:09,817 Dr. Gervitz's office manager if you must know everything 671 00:35:09,900 --> 00:35:10,984 His name is Brian 672 00:35:11,068 --> 00:35:12,861 The guy with the gray soul patch? 673 00:35:13,028 --> 00:35:15,739 - You know what? - Hey, man, I'm Brian 674 00:35:15,864 --> 00:35:18,158 - You're mean! - Wow, you wanna go to lunch sometime? 675 00:35:18,242 --> 00:35:20,327 Is he gonna take you there right after the big protest? 676 00:35:20,410 --> 00:35:22,830 Hey, man, we gotta stop these squirrels 677 00:35:25,207 --> 00:35:26,667 He plays bass, don't he? 678 00:35:29,253 --> 00:35:30,671 You can take the brassiere off, too 679 00:35:31,088 --> 00:35:35,008 And by the way, he does play the bass And he writes songs. 680 00:35:35,175 --> 00:35:37,594 What does he write songs about how bad his ponytail stinks? 681 00:35:37,761 --> 00:35:40,430 Mrs. Harrington, could you put your hands on your hips, please? 682 00:35:40,597 --> 00:35:43,433 Okay, so, one of the funbags is not having too much fun. 683 00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:44,977 All right, what happened anyways? 684 00:35:45,060 --> 00:35:47,855 - Well, I hit it with the car door yesterday - Right. 685 00:35:47,938 --> 00:35:52,234 And I heard a pop and then some sloshing sound when I walk 686 00:35:52,401 --> 00:35:54,695 Yeah. I think 687 00:35:58,448 --> 00:35:59,575 What are you doing? 688 00:35:59,908 --> 00:36:02,494 Could be the kids or could be Brian 689 00:36:02,578 --> 00:36:03,787 Okay. Stop that 690 00:36:03,912 --> 00:36:06,123 Do you mind just for one second? Let me just talk to this guy. 691 00:36:06,540 --> 00:36:07,749 Stop! 692 00:36:08,959 --> 00:36:10,252 Yeah 693 00:36:10,627 --> 00:36:12,588 - Hello? - Yeah, man! 694 00:36:13,255 --> 00:36:14,548 - Bflan? - You can lie down 695 00:36:14,631 --> 00:36:17,259 Yeah, hi! We sure are 696 00:36:17,634 --> 00:36:19,970 Yeah, no, sushi would be groovy 697 00:36:20,095 --> 00:36:23,265 Okay, I'll see you at 1:00 in the lobby Okay, bye. 698 00:36:27,477 --> 00:36:28,812 What voice was that? 699 00:36:29,229 --> 00:36:30,272 That was my voice 700 00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:31,732 Really? 701 00:36:33,150 --> 00:36:36,111 - I didn't sound like that - One o'clock... 702 00:36:36,445 --> 00:36:38,322 You're excited about this guy, huh? 703 00:36:38,739 --> 00:36:41,283 Mrs. Harrington, this is numbing cream for your nipples, okay? 704 00:36:41,408 --> 00:36:42,576 OKEY 705 00:36:42,951 --> 00:36:44,244 It's gonna be one afternoon 706 00:36:44,328 --> 00:36:45,746 Why are we making such a big deal out of this? 707 00:36:45,829 --> 00:36:47,998 Because you know what? You're trying to get my kids involved 708 00:36:48,123 --> 00:36:52,419 in your dysfunctional, sick little, pathetic, twisted web of lies 709 00:36:52,502 --> 00:36:54,213 When I was negotiating with your son, Michael, 710 00:36:54,296 --> 00:36:57,257 he had the biggest smile I've ever seen on anyone's face 711 00:36:57,758 --> 00:37:00,010 When I told him we could do it at J.D. McFunnigan's, 712 00:37:00,135 --> 00:37:03,013 the kid looked like he won the Heisman Trophy, I'm not kidding you 713 00:37:03,180 --> 00:37:04,640 I think that's enough. Do you feel that? 714 00:37:04,765 --> 00:37:05,766 O 715 00:37:05,849 --> 00:37:06,934 No, but do you feel that? 716 00:37:07,351 --> 00:37:09,102 - No. - We're good 717 00:37:09,186 --> 00:37:11,355 By the way, did you make this? 718 00:37:12,522 --> 00:37:16,485 We'll have to give it to the Smithsonian when we've done the operation. Terrific: job 719 00:37:17,027 --> 00:37:18,320 Did he really smile? 720 00:37:18,487 --> 00:37:20,322 Swear to God, like the cutest little smile 721 00:37:21,114 --> 00:37:22,783 And I got Maggie to eat 722 00:37:23,492 --> 00:37:24,660 - You did? - Yeah. 723 00:37:24,993 --> 00:37:26,703 Pizza. Deep dish. Three pieces 724 00:37:26,995 --> 00:37:28,372 I can't get her to eat anything 725 00:37:28,497 --> 00:37:31,333 I know you can't. Don't do this for me 726 00:37:32,626 --> 00:37:34,002 Do it for the children 727 00:37:36,004 --> 00:37:37,506 - Yeah! - Oh, stop! 728 00:37:38,674 --> 00:37:41,510 Come on, you're late! What are you, in character right away? 729 00:37:41,635 --> 00:37:42,844 Come on, let's go! 730 00:37:43,136 --> 00:37:44,680 She's inside 731 00:37:46,807 --> 00:37:47,975 What is that? 732 00:37:48,517 --> 00:37:49,518 What? 733 00:37:49,685 --> 00:37:52,354 Did Victoria Beckham have a yard sale? Why are you wearing that? 734 00:37:52,729 --> 00:37:55,232 Are you kidding me? This is what you bought for me 735 00:37:55,357 --> 00:37:56,900 I know, I know. I'm just saying is it 736 00:37:57,025 --> 00:37:59,361 All right, we're stuck with it, I just think it's a little over the top, but 737 00:37:59,486 --> 00:38:01,321 Thanks. Happy to be here to help you 738 00:38:01,405 --> 00:38:05,325 The first rule of improv is always accept the information 739 00:38:05,492 --> 00:38:08,537 If someone says something, just go with it No negating. 740 00:38:08,745 --> 00:38:10,414 Gotcha. That sounds good, that's smart 741 00:38:10,539 --> 00:38:13,000 In my acting class, when someone says "No" in a scene, 742 00:38:13,083 --> 00:38:14,543 the whole class yells, "Die!" 743 00:38:14,710 --> 00:38:17,713 No. I mean, no one will say "no" then Don't yell "die." 744 00:38:17,879 --> 00:38:19,172 Who's up for some warm-up exercises? 745 00:38:19,256 --> 00:38:21,091 - No, honey, I'm not gonna do that - The what? 746 00:38:21,258 --> 00:38:24,553 The tip of the tongue, the teeth, the lips The tip of the tongue, the teeth, the lips 747 00:38:26,722 --> 00:38:28,390 I got one for you. Shut up! 748 00:38:29,558 --> 00:38:32,060 All right, let's go already. Are you ready there, Mafia? 749 00:38:32,394 --> 00:38:34,062 - Hell, yeah. - Let's do it! 750 00:39:17,647 --> 00:39:19,107 Stinks 751 00:39:19,483 --> 00:39:24,279 Smells like kids' feet and like skidmark underwear 752 00:39:24,946 --> 00:39:26,114 Happy Father's Day 753 00:39:28,784 --> 00:39:29,826 Jeez! 754 00:39:31,453 --> 00:39:35,290 Mommy! That man put his pee-pee on my face! 755 00:39:35,457 --> 00:39:36,583 What? 756 00:39:37,501 --> 00:39:40,837 - He put his face on my pee-pee - Danny! 757 00:39:41,004 --> 00:39:43,131 - I'm saying he's the one - I don't think it matters. 758 00:39:43,298 --> 00:39:44,341 No, I get you 759 00:39:44,508 --> 00:39:46,301 Palmer, darling 760 00:39:47,969 --> 00:39:50,764 Devlin. Thank you so much for bringing the kids today. 761 00:39:50,847 --> 00:39:52,724 I don't think she was the only one who brought them. 762 00:39:52,808 --> 00:39:54,684 You know what I'm saying? 763 00:39:54,810 --> 00:39:56,311 They are my pride and joy 764 00:39:56,436 --> 00:40:00,440 So I'd like to introduce you to, the one and only, 765 00:40:00,524 --> 00:40:04,403 Kiki Dee, who came out at nine pounds four ounces 766 00:40:04,486 --> 00:40:05,529 Yeouch 767 00:40:05,695 --> 00:40:07,656 And then the Whopper, we call him, Bart 768 00:40:07,781 --> 00:40:10,659 because he was a 12-pounder and did some damage. 769 00:40:10,784 --> 00:40:12,327 Okay. So 770 00:40:13,203 --> 00:40:14,496 Hi, yoU guys 771 00:40:14,663 --> 00:40:17,374 Hello, Palmer. Heard so much about you 772 00:40:19,334 --> 00:40:20,502 You're British? 773 00:40:20,669 --> 00:40:24,297 So you're the bird what's been given Daddy the 0l' slap and tickle? 774 00:40:26,174 --> 00:40:30,345 We sent her to boarding school last year in England. 775 00:40:30,846 --> 00:40:35,308 See? So she picked up a slight accent It's, you know, very Madonna. 776 00:40:35,684 --> 00:40:37,894 Well, it is a pleasure meeting you, Kiki Dee 777 00:40:38,395 --> 00:40:40,021 Wish I could say the same 778 00:40:40,188 --> 00:40:43,525 You see, before you, I had meself a father 779 00:40:43,859 --> 00:40:45,527 I was the apple of his eye 780 00:40:45,652 --> 00:40:48,989 It was all giggling and chasing butterflies in the meadows, 781 00:40:49,072 --> 00:40:50,323 and what have you 782 00:40:50,574 --> 00:40:51,867 And now what do I got? 783 00:40:51,992 --> 00:40:55,745 An hour and a half every other week at J.D. McFunnigan's 784 00:40:55,871 --> 00:40:58,373 with him and his whore 785 00:40:59,082 --> 00:41:00,584 - Koko! Kiki! - Kiki! 786 00:41:03,545 --> 00:41:05,338 God, she's in such pain 787 00:41:05,422 --> 00:41:08,425 No, that's the pills that... She took some out of her mother's bureau. 788 00:41:08,550 --> 00:41:09,593 Are you 789 00:41:09,759 --> 00:41:11,261 All right, let me go see her 790 00:41:13,346 --> 00:41:14,973 How are you doing, sweetie? 791 00:41:15,056 --> 00:41:18,393 I'll be better when I start seeing some tokens 792 00:41:19,603 --> 00:41:20,937 He's American 793 00:41:22,564 --> 00:41:25,400 Excuse me. Yo! What was that all about? 794 00:41:25,567 --> 00:41:29,905 That was raw and real and in the moment You know, I feel very good about it. 795 00:41:30,030 --> 00:41:31,615 You do? Well, I don't! 796 00:41:31,740 --> 00:41:34,409 So if you wanna get your money and your acting classes, 797 00:41:34,534 --> 00:41:37,287 you better start doing things right from now on. 798 00:41:37,412 --> 00:41:38,830 No more sob stories 799 00:41:38,914 --> 00:41:43,168 And we're stuck with the English accent now Ringo, so commit to it. Don't choke, got it? 800 00:41:43,251 --> 00:41:44,336 Got it 801 00:41:44,419 --> 00:41:48,340 Now hug me and laugh and let's get back into the show 802 00:41:48,423 --> 00:41:51,092 Okay. Papa! 803 00:41:53,595 --> 00:41:55,847 You're not a whore, Palmer 804 00:41:55,931 --> 00:41:57,015 OKEY 805 00:41:57,098 --> 00:42:00,143 That's so nice. See what they do, they fight then they make up and it's good. 806 00:42:00,310 --> 00:42:02,103 Good. We're doing good 807 00:42:02,812 --> 00:42:04,439 Are you kidding me? 808 00:42:04,814 --> 00:42:08,693 Got a hamburger here for Bart Art the Water Fart. 809 00:42:08,777 --> 00:42:11,112 - Here you go, kid. - Look at that, sweet! 810 00:42:11,238 --> 00:42:15,617 And two quesadillas for Kiki Sneaky With a Side of Freaky. 811 00:42:16,826 --> 00:42:20,497 Here's the waters. No soda for you. You're battling diabetes, remember? 812 00:42:22,499 --> 00:42:23,959 Kiki Dee? 813 00:42:24,125 --> 00:42:26,294 I got you two quesadillas cause it's your favorite food 814 00:42:26,419 --> 00:42:27,921 so you have to eat it 815 00:42:29,005 --> 00:42:33,635 Well, yes! And that's why I'm going to eat every single bit of it. 816 00:42:33,969 --> 00:42:35,512 All right, let's see 817 00:42:38,306 --> 00:42:39,432 Yummy! 818 00:42:39,599 --> 00:42:40,642 Thank you 819 00:42:40,850 --> 00:42:42,644 Hey, I think we forgot napkins 820 00:42:42,936 --> 00:42:44,771 We did? Okay. Well let me get the napkins 821 00:42:44,854 --> 00:42:46,439 Because I know she's not gonna get up and do it 822 00:42:46,523 --> 00:42:48,024 because she doesn't like to get up and do anything 823 00:42:48,191 --> 00:42:49,317 Oh, nice 824 00:42:49,484 --> 00:42:50,986 Everybody be cool 825 00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:56,658 So, Bart, your dad tells me you like to go to the bathroom 826 00:42:57,325 --> 00:42:59,661 When I feel it, I do it 827 00:43:00,537 --> 00:43:02,163 What else do you like? 828 00:43:02,372 --> 00:43:03,707 I don't know 829 00:43:05,333 --> 00:43:08,503 That's our Bart. He's a man of very few words 830 00:43:09,713 --> 00:43:10,880 OKEY 831 00:43:11,172 --> 00:43:12,674 Maybe I'm upset 832 00:43:13,675 --> 00:43:15,343 Upset about me and your father dating? 833 00:43:15,510 --> 00:43:20,056 No. You seem to make my dad happy and that's cool, but... 834 00:43:20,890 --> 00:43:22,017 But what? 835 00:43:23,226 --> 00:43:24,394 Nothing 836 00:43:24,561 --> 00:43:26,896 Hey, I want you to feel comfortable telling me anything. 837 00:43:27,689 --> 00:43:30,233 Well, I just hate that he broke his promise to me 838 00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:31,484 What promise? 839 00:43:31,568 --> 00:43:32,861 Yeah, what promise? 840 00:43:33,028 --> 00:43:35,864 He promised me last year that he would take me to Hawaii 841 00:43:35,989 --> 00:43:37,032 to swim with the dolphins 842 00:43:37,365 --> 00:43:40,994 They have this lagoon there with dolphins and people get to swim with them. 843 00:43:41,077 --> 00:43:42,120 What are you doing? 844 00:43:42,203 --> 00:43:44,914 But without warning, my dad canceled the trip 845 00:43:45,248 --> 00:43:46,708 Why would he do that? 846 00:43:47,042 --> 00:43:48,752 He met you 847 00:43:50,086 --> 00:43:51,254 He what? 848 00:43:51,421 --> 00:43:53,256 - No! "Die!" 849 00:43:53,423 --> 00:43:56,426 No, no, no, no, no, no! I'm saying that did not.. 850 00:43:56,885 --> 00:44:01,848 You misread what I said. I said we have to go to Hawaii earlier 851 00:44:02,098 --> 00:44:05,143 Because I'm excited for all of us to hang out there. 852 00:44:05,226 --> 00:44:06,269 We're going to Hawaii! 853 00:44:15,945 --> 00:44:19,115 I can't believe I let a six-year-old blackmail me 854 00:44:19,616 --> 00:44:21,576 I saw my shot and I took it 855 00:44:21,910 --> 00:44:24,537 You're angry at yourself cause you got us into this whole situation 856 00:44:24,621 --> 00:44:25,872 - I did? - You really did 857 00:44:25,955 --> 00:44:27,707 I think old Mary Poppins with the, 858 00:44:27,791 --> 00:44:30,418 "You can't say no. You can't say no, Guv'nor" 859 00:44:30,585 --> 00:44:32,295 Okay, listen, my tolerance 860 00:44:32,420 --> 00:44:34,589 for these continued shenanigans is right here. 861 00:44:34,756 --> 00:44:38,968 And if it gets up to here, I'm taking my kids, I'm selling you out and I'm going home. 862 00:44:39,302 --> 00:44:42,722 I am so happy we are doing this, Danny 863 00:44:42,806 --> 00:44:46,059 Are you kidding me? We're going to Hawaii we're gonna swim with dolphins. 864 00:44:46,142 --> 00:44:47,811 It's gonna be so much fun I was just telling the squirt 865 00:44:47,936 --> 00:44:49,396 And Seventeen magazine 866 00:44:49,479 --> 00:44:51,189 You brought that for these guys or is that for you? 867 00:44:51,272 --> 00:44:52,816 It's mine. It's my favorite 868 00:44:52,941 --> 00:44:55,985 See that? Did you ever read that magazine? Thirty years ago you did. 869 00:44:56,736 --> 00:44:59,739 And hopefully we're gonna have time together, right, sweetie? 870 00:44:59,823 --> 00:45:01,658 Wait! Wait! 871 00:45:03,618 --> 00:45:05,286 Danny, wait! 872 00:45:09,666 --> 00:45:13,461 Muffinstein, I could not stand to be without you 873 00:45:14,754 --> 00:45:18,425 ls this him? I see the Colonel von Generous right here in front of me. 874 00:45:18,508 --> 00:45:20,135 Okay, I'm confused right now 875 00:45:20,468 --> 00:45:23,680 I'm so sorry. I've not introduced myself we have talked on the phone, 876 00:45:23,805 --> 00:45:25,974 but I am the Dolph Lundgren 877 00:45:27,350 --> 00:45:29,477 Devlin's man-friend/love monkey 878 00:45:29,644 --> 00:45:30,687 Oh, kill me now 879 00:45:30,812 --> 00:45:32,689 Devlin said you had to stay back and work 880 00:45:32,856 --> 00:45:34,315 - I did. - She what said? 881 00:45:34,482 --> 00:45:38,653 Nein, nein to the work. I will work when I am kaput 882 00:45:38,820 --> 00:45:41,865 You know, I think this is so great of all of you, so mature 883 00:45:41,990 --> 00:45:45,452 I would have loved if my parents had done something like this when they got divorced 884 00:45:45,535 --> 00:45:49,497 That's why I was thinking we should have the man come. Yeah, I'm glad. I'm glad. 885 00:45:49,664 --> 00:45:53,668 It's important for the children to see us as a unit. 886 00:45:53,793 --> 00:45:55,712 And also I cannot stay away from this potato pancake. 887 00:45:55,837 --> 00:45:58,506 She loves the schnitzel, you know what I mean? 888 00:46:02,177 --> 00:46:04,053 You know what? Tongue feels a little dry 889 00:46:04,179 --> 00:46:06,514 Let's go get you some water, honey We'll be back. 890 00:46:06,639 --> 00:46:08,099 That's a big tongue, big tongue 891 00:46:08,183 --> 00:46:09,851 Get over here, get over here 892 00:46:10,643 --> 00:46:11,644 What are you doing here? 893 00:46:11,728 --> 00:46:13,897 I don't know, saving the day. Helping. Hello? 894 00:46:14,022 --> 00:46:15,857 Who are you talking to? What are you looking at? 895 00:46:16,524 --> 00:46:17,734 I can't see in these things 896 00:46:17,859 --> 00:46:18,902 This is what you're gonna do 897 00:46:19,027 --> 00:46:21,738 You're gonna tell them that you ate a bad sauerkraut omelet for breakfast 898 00:46:21,863 --> 00:46:24,157 and that you are feeling like you're sick and that you gotta go. 899 00:46:24,240 --> 00:46:25,909 - Katherine, I can't go. Okay? - Why? 900 00:46:26,034 --> 00:46:29,621 Because I texted a picture of my new equipment to my ex-girlfriend 901 00:46:29,704 --> 00:46:30,747 You're disgusting 902 00:46:30,872 --> 00:46:34,542 And I forgot she's engaged to a UFC fighter He wants to punch me in the face. 903 00:46:34,709 --> 00:46:36,211 I wanna punch you in the face 904 00:46:36,336 --> 00:46:37,420 Hey, guys, how we doing? 905 00:46:39,255 --> 00:46:42,175 I am just waiting for the money for the ticket 906 00:46:42,258 --> 00:46:44,594 So you are coming? And I am paying? 907 00:46:44,761 --> 00:46:46,971 Yes. Dolph has zero dollars 908 00:46:47,055 --> 00:46:48,097 - Woops! - Qkay_ 909 00:46:49,224 --> 00:46:51,893 Let me see if I can find my credit card Here it is. 910 00:46:53,269 --> 00:46:55,021 That's for sleeping with my wife, pal 911 00:47:08,952 --> 00:47:10,912 - There you go - Thank you. 912 00:47:11,079 --> 00:47:12,163 Hey, hey! 913 00:47:12,247 --> 00:47:15,333 Didn't have time to make any reservations, but I need two rooms, please. 914 00:47:15,416 --> 00:47:18,586 Of course. Unfortunately, we only have our suites left 915 00:47:18,753 --> 00:47:19,838 Oh, boy 916 00:47:19,921 --> 00:47:24,467 The Waldorf Astoria at $8,000 per night and the Presidential at $12,000. 917 00:47:24,592 --> 00:47:28,012 $12,000 a night? Do the Rolling Stones come and play for me while I'm in there? 918 00:47:28,096 --> 00:47:29,973 What the hell are you talking about? Why is it so much? 919 00:47:30,098 --> 00:47:32,600 Is it made out of panda? I've used that somewhere else, but is it? 920 00:47:33,142 --> 00:47:35,478 No, but you've made some terrific suggestions 921 00:47:35,603 --> 00:47:36,855 and I'm gonna jot them down 922 00:47:36,938 --> 00:47:39,190 Are you a member of the Hilton Honors Rewards programme? 923 00:47:39,274 --> 00:47:40,316 No, I'm not 924 00:47:40,483 --> 00:47:42,569 That's too bad. You should join 925 00:47:42,652 --> 00:47:43,903 Yeah 926 00:47:47,949 --> 00:47:49,826 Just got reamed. I mean, I got the rooms 927 00:47:50,410 --> 00:47:51,578 Who wants to go to the beach? 928 00:47:51,661 --> 00:47:52,954 LVle! 929 00:47:53,121 --> 00:47:54,455 Who wants to start drinking? 930 00:47:54,622 --> 00:47:56,332 LVle! 931 00:48:12,515 --> 00:48:16,811 Okay, yeah, I would create a fake family for that. Oh, my God! 932 00:48:16,978 --> 00:48:18,605 You know what? You're disgusting 933 00:48:18,855 --> 00:48:23,192 Mumsy, please do come in. The water's as lovely as Westminster in May 934 00:48:23,359 --> 00:48:26,029 No, honey, I'm good. I don't really feel like swimming right now 935 00:48:26,195 --> 00:48:28,448 What is this from, my Liebchen? 936 00:48:28,531 --> 00:48:32,452 Don't you be intimidated by her whole thing right there, which is perfect. 937 00:48:32,535 --> 00:48:36,873 Come on. Like she's intimidated. I hope when I'm her age I look that good 938 00:48:36,998 --> 00:48:38,041 Yes, right? 939 00:48:38,207 --> 00:48:39,834 You can look that good 940 00:48:40,001 --> 00:48:45,214 if you don't take the elevators and only take the stairs like Cary Grant 941 00:48:46,883 --> 00:48:49,719 Take the stairs. Take the stairs 942 00:48:51,012 --> 00:48:52,680 Hey, why are we stopped here? 943 00:48:52,847 --> 00:48:55,350 What's the matter? I can't look at engagement rings? 944 00:48:55,516 --> 00:48:57,352 - Engagement rings? - Yeah, you heard me 945 00:48:57,518 --> 00:49:00,063 Look all you want, but you and I both know that 946 00:49:00,229 --> 00:49:01,272 you're gonna get sick of this hottie 947 00:49:01,356 --> 00:49:03,107 and you're gonna be back on the prowl next week. 948 00:49:03,191 --> 00:49:05,068 Nope. I'm telling you, is this girl not cute? 949 00:49:05,234 --> 00:49:06,319 Yeah, she's really cute 950 00:49:06,402 --> 00:49:07,487 ls she not the sweetest? 951 00:49:07,570 --> 00:49:08,696 The nicest person I've ever met 952 00:49:08,863 --> 00:49:10,239 Did you ever see her lips? 953 00:49:10,406 --> 00:49:11,741 I think she has the best lips I've ever seen 954 00:49:11,866 --> 00:49:14,077 They're like an inner tube and I just wanna sit on it. 955 00:49:14,202 --> 00:49:15,536 You know what I mean? And just, like 956 00:49:15,912 --> 00:49:17,413 Do you want me to knock you out, or 957 00:49:17,914 --> 00:49:20,416 No, I'm saying you should sit on her lips 958 00:49:20,583 --> 00:49:21,709 Anyways 959 00:49:21,876 --> 00:49:24,545 You know, this whole situation reminds me of a song. 960 00:49:24,712 --> 00:49:27,423 Danny is a big plastic surgeon 961 00:49:27,590 --> 00:49:30,051 Who never had time for a wife 962 00:49:30,385 --> 00:49:33,554 And he's friends with Davy Who's still in the Navy 963 00:49:33,721 --> 00:49:35,390 Piano Man? Why Piano Man? 964 00:49:35,556 --> 00:49:36,808 No, it's "Piano Dan" 965 00:49:36,891 --> 00:49:38,935 That's based on your life It's a little Eddie remix. 966 00:49:39,894 --> 00:49:44,107 Eddie used to have an afro And pimples all over his face 967 00:49:44,399 --> 00:49:47,485 So he popped and he poked 'em And Clearasil soaked 'em 968 00:49:47,568 --> 00:49:50,530 But ladies still greet him with mace 969 00:49:51,739 --> 00:49:53,116 I was maced one time 970 00:49:53,282 --> 00:49:54,575 Five times 971 00:49:58,579 --> 00:50:01,374 So, guys, we're here to get to know each other better 972 00:50:01,457 --> 00:50:02,542 - Yes. - Yeah 973 00:50:02,625 --> 00:50:04,085 Dolph, let's start with you 974 00:50:04,252 --> 00:50:05,962 So, what line of work are you in? 975 00:50:06,129 --> 00:50:09,924 Well, Palmer, I am in sheep 976 00:50:11,467 --> 00:50:13,094 I'm sorry. I don't know what you mean 977 00:50:13,553 --> 00:50:16,723 I am a sheep shipper 978 00:50:17,098 --> 00:50:18,224 Yes 979 00:50:18,307 --> 00:50:20,476 You know, people, they don't buy the sheep 980 00:50:20,601 --> 00:50:22,103 from the local sheepherder any more 981 00:50:22,645 --> 00:50:24,147 Really? They don't? 982 00:50:24,313 --> 00:50:27,817 No, they don't. They go online! 983 00:50:28,109 --> 00:50:29,777 Yes! They go on the lntervveb 984 00:50:29,944 --> 00:50:34,198 to my website, gotprettysheep.com 985 00:50:34,282 --> 00:50:35,908 And leave this, please. Thank you 986 00:50:35,992 --> 00:50:38,161 Now, people go on. They see the pictures of the sheep 987 00:50:38,286 --> 00:50:39,662 and they pick the ones they want 988 00:50:39,787 --> 00:50:41,080 You know, it's like, "I want that one" 989 00:50:41,164 --> 00:50:43,374 "You know, it's very stylish You know, it's a stylish one 990 00:50:43,458 --> 00:50:45,960 Goes, "Oh, no, I want the shy one who doesn't want to baa." 991 00:50:46,127 --> 00:50:47,670 Or they buy the sassy one, 992 00:50:47,837 --> 00:50:51,257 who's like, "Hey, I see you, baa, baa" 993 00:50:51,340 --> 00:50:52,967 So, what do the people do with these sheep? 994 00:50:53,468 --> 00:50:56,137 Whatever they want! Sky is the limit 995 00:50:56,304 --> 00:51:00,016 You know, some have them as pets. Some have them as security for the house 996 00:51:00,183 --> 00:51:01,476 A lot of the people 997 00:51:01,642 --> 00:51:06,314 The new thing is training them to fight each other in the Sheep Fight Club 998 00:51:07,648 --> 00:51:09,484 Sheep Fight Clubs? 999 00:51:09,650 --> 00:51:14,197 Yes. All the sheeps, they get together. They baa, all you hear is, "Baa, baa, baa" 1000 00:51:14,363 --> 00:51:17,658 And then you see hoof, kick, hoof, kick hoof, kick, baa, baa, baa, baa, baa! 1001 00:51:17,825 --> 00:51:18,993 And then he's out 1002 00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:22,538 And that is how we met. She bought a sheep from me 1003 00:51:23,164 --> 00:51:24,373 Really? Why? 1004 00:51:24,540 --> 00:51:26,501 Children? Okay, tune out 1005 00:51:26,667 --> 00:51:30,546 Okay, 'cause some secrets are coming out all right? Some adult ones. 1006 00:51:30,713 --> 00:51:33,508 She likes to shave the sheep 1007 00:51:33,716 --> 00:51:37,887 for the pelt for the sex, sexuals, yes 1008 00:51:38,221 --> 00:51:41,557 She has got a real fetish for the wool and stuff, you know 1009 00:51:41,682 --> 00:51:43,643 We do this thing called "sheepstenein" 1010 00:51:44,227 --> 00:51:46,771 Danny? Would you come with me, please? 1011 00:51:46,854 --> 00:51:49,649 Yeah. Absolutely. So, we're gonna leave right now 1012 00:51:49,732 --> 00:51:51,484 So you guys play that game that we always love to play, 1013 00:51:51,567 --> 00:51:52,610 Nobody Talk game 1014 00:51:52,693 --> 00:51:53,861 And start now 1015 00:51:54,028 --> 00:51:56,322 - I'm sorry, we're leaving. I can't do it - No. 1016 00:51:56,405 --> 00:51:57,657 I'm gonna kill that guy. He's lost it 1017 00:51:57,740 --> 00:52:00,535 He was going sheep-crazy, I'll give you that Where is your hand right now? 1018 00:52:00,660 --> 00:52:03,329 You wanna see where it is? It's not even here any more! It's gone! 1019 00:52:03,412 --> 00:52:06,207 How about I beat him up? You can beat him up with me. It'll be fun 1020 00:52:06,374 --> 00:52:08,042 I don't want to! I have to go 1021 00:52:08,167 --> 00:52:10,169 - Don't bail on me right now! - Don't make that face at me 1022 00:52:10,253 --> 00:52:12,588 - I cannot stand that face - Katherine? 1023 00:52:12,755 --> 00:52:14,549 Katherine Murphy? 1024 00:52:15,216 --> 00:52:18,261 Oh, my God, Devlin Adams 1025 00:52:20,555 --> 00:52:24,225 - Devlin? Devlin as in taking a - Taking? From what I see... 1026 00:52:24,350 --> 00:52:26,561 It's my favorite college Devlin! 1027 00:52:27,395 --> 00:52:30,565 Both of us here at this resort at the same time. 1028 00:52:31,274 --> 00:52:33,359 I didn't know you came to places like this 1029 00:52:33,442 --> 00:52:34,485 Here we go 1030 00:52:34,569 --> 00:52:35,611 Honey! 1031 00:52:35,736 --> 00:52:37,405 Honey, I want you to meet someone 1032 00:52:38,072 --> 00:52:41,534 This is one of my best friends from my sorority. 1033 00:52:41,617 --> 00:52:44,412 Katherine, this is my husband Ian Maxtone Jones. 1034 00:52:44,537 --> 00:52:45,538 Pleasure 1035 00:52:45,621 --> 00:52:48,457 You might've heard of him He invented the iPod. 1036 00:52:48,749 --> 00:52:51,752 Well, of course he did. The iPod 1037 00:52:51,919 --> 00:52:54,130 The idea just came to me in the shower 1038 00:52:54,463 --> 00:52:57,800 A shower that I was taking with Devlin 1039 00:53:00,303 --> 00:53:03,598 So, this is a cabana you guys got yourselves here, huh? 1040 00:53:03,764 --> 00:53:06,142 Because my skin is so white I don't like to get it burned. 1041 00:53:06,309 --> 00:53:07,977 Even at night? 1042 00:53:08,311 --> 00:53:10,938 Well, in Hawaii, you never know with the sun Very, very strong. 1043 00:53:12,106 --> 00:53:13,900 So you mean like a moonburn or 1044 00:53:15,276 --> 00:53:17,445 You look fantastic 1045 00:53:17,612 --> 00:53:22,158 You look great. I'm so glad you got your teeth fixed. Much better 1046 00:53:22,825 --> 00:53:26,913 You are just the same glorious Devlin that I remember. 1047 00:53:26,996 --> 00:53:29,832 Oh, my God, I ran into Sandra Wernick last month 1048 00:53:30,666 --> 00:53:33,794 The poor thing. She's already divorced and she has a child 1049 00:53:34,128 --> 00:53:36,672 She's a single mother. It's a disaster 1050 00:53:36,797 --> 00:53:38,341 I feel so bad for her 1051 00:53:38,633 --> 00:53:40,176 Are you married? 1052 00:53:41,010 --> 00:53:42,178 Yes 1053 00:53:42,762 --> 00:53:46,015 I've neglected to introduce you to Danny 1054 00:53:46,140 --> 00:53:50,937 Daniel Leroy Maccabee Ill, my husband 1055 00:53:51,312 --> 00:53:54,398 Yes. If you want me to stay, will you just go with it, honey? 1056 00:53:54,565 --> 00:53:56,943 - Come here and please meet Devlin and Ian - Hey. 1057 00:53:57,235 --> 00:53:58,611 This is Daniel 1058 00:53:58,819 --> 00:54:01,239 - lPod, what's up? How are you? - I'm fine. 1059 00:54:01,405 --> 00:54:03,324 - Invented it. - Pleasure. I heard 1060 00:54:03,449 --> 00:54:08,162 Devlin, I think I spoke about you with my wife in the bathroom one or two times, right? 1061 00:54:08,246 --> 00:54:09,330 We did 1062 00:54:09,455 --> 00:54:12,500 - Number two. - We did it twice, yes 1063 00:54:12,625 --> 00:54:15,253 So, chief, tell me, what do you do for a living? 1064 00:54:15,336 --> 00:54:19,131 I'm also an inventor, just like you I invented the barking hand. 1065 00:54:21,008 --> 00:54:22,677 I got you. But you're sunburned? 1066 00:54:23,010 --> 00:54:24,262 - No. - What? 1067 00:54:24,637 --> 00:54:26,097 You are a surgeon 1068 00:54:26,180 --> 00:54:28,933 He's a plastic surgeon, and he's one of the best 1069 00:54:29,100 --> 00:54:30,768 according to Los Angeles Magazine 1070 00:54:31,185 --> 00:54:32,353 Touchdown! 1071 00:54:32,436 --> 00:54:34,188 Yes. Well, that, yeah 1072 00:54:34,355 --> 00:54:35,439 Touched it down 1073 00:54:35,606 --> 00:54:37,858 We gotta go back. We have to run It was great to see you. 1074 00:54:37,984 --> 00:54:39,527 We have to get back to our kids. So 1075 00:54:39,860 --> 00:54:40,945 You have kids? 1076 00:54:41,862 --> 00:54:45,533 Yeah, two, actually. We couldn't wait to start creating lives 1077 00:54:45,658 --> 00:54:50,538 And by the way, I created these children in the shower. Right? 1078 00:54:50,663 --> 00:54:52,206 - You did. - You know what I'm saying, homeboy? 1079 00:54:54,292 --> 00:54:55,376 That is funny 1080 00:54:55,459 --> 00:54:56,961 Wow, you've been together a long time 1081 00:54:57,295 --> 00:54:58,963 Am I gonna leave this girl? Look at her 1082 00:54:59,130 --> 00:55:01,632 Still gets the flag up the pole, if you know what I mean. 1083 00:55:01,799 --> 00:55:04,218 Bing-bang. An iRod, I should say 1084 00:55:04,343 --> 00:55:05,970 Come on, hit that. Why'd you leave me hanging so long? 1085 00:55:06,053 --> 00:55:08,055 You're so clever. That's so silly 1086 00:55:08,139 --> 00:55:10,891 The four of us should get together and have dinner one night. 1087 00:55:11,017 --> 00:55:13,477 That would be almost like a dream of mine 1088 00:55:13,561 --> 00:55:17,648 If we could ever get ourselves out of the bedroom. 1089 00:55:17,732 --> 00:55:20,067 Katherine Murphy, look at you! 1090 00:55:20,151 --> 00:55:23,404 Oh, no, not Murphy any more Leroy Maccabee. 1091 00:55:23,487 --> 00:55:24,572 That's right 1092 00:55:24,655 --> 00:55:28,659 The third. Anyway, so it was great to see you and meet you, Ian. 1093 00:55:28,826 --> 00:55:30,828 The big E. Love the Shuffle, by the way 1094 00:55:30,995 --> 00:55:33,080 - Good to meet you. - Bye! Thanks. You, too! 1095 00:55:33,247 --> 00:55:35,333 What are you talking about? She was nice 1096 00:55:35,499 --> 00:55:37,501 - I'm gonna kill you. - Come on. You need me, though, right? 1097 00:55:37,585 --> 00:55:38,669 I don't believe thatjust happened 1098 00:55:38,753 --> 00:55:40,087 I like that you need me. How's that make you feel? 1099 00:55:40,171 --> 00:55:42,757 Please, it feels like a car door just slowly shut on my soul. 1100 00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:44,008 - Come here! Listen - What? 1101 00:55:44,175 --> 00:55:45,343 Do you know how I feel right now? 1102 00:55:45,509 --> 00:55:47,678 You were getting me so upset, bringing me into that web of lies 1103 00:55:47,845 --> 00:55:50,014 My hand's right here right now Oh, my hand's right there. 1104 00:55:50,097 --> 00:55:51,265 You know what? I hate you right now 1105 00:55:51,432 --> 00:55:55,186 I've gotta write out a bunch of index cards just to keep up with these lies. 1106 00:55:55,269 --> 00:55:58,189 Yeah, and you're gonna make me copies, too And one more thing. 1107 00:56:02,360 --> 00:56:06,530 Oh, my God, why are we leaving the hotel right now? Why did you wake me up? 1108 00:56:06,614 --> 00:56:10,701 Because, Grandpa, I signed us up for the all-day adventure tour. 1109 00:56:10,785 --> 00:56:13,537 We're gonna go hiking in the rainforest and kayaking down rivers 1110 00:56:13,621 --> 00:56:15,289 and swimming under waterfalls 1111 00:56:15,414 --> 00:56:17,458 Swimming. I hope you mean skinny-dipping 1112 00:56:17,541 --> 00:56:18,959 I'm gonna suggest swimming 1113 00:56:19,877 --> 00:56:21,796 I, however, am fine with some man nudity, Danny 1114 00:56:21,962 --> 00:56:25,633 Okay, so Swiss Family nightmare is coming with us. 1115 00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:27,551 That's so we can bond? 1116 00:56:27,718 --> 00:56:29,637 That'll be great! 1117 00:56:33,307 --> 00:56:35,393 It's bloody breathtaking out here! 1118 00:56:35,559 --> 00:56:37,561 Is this where the blue Avatar people live? 1119 00:56:37,728 --> 00:56:40,314 Yeah, the blue Avatar people and I think that black pig. 1120 00:56:40,898 --> 00:56:42,733 - Where? - The pig. 1121 00:56:42,900 --> 00:56:44,735 Look, how cute. Looks like Babe 1122 00:56:46,153 --> 00:56:48,155 Oh, my God! Go, Go! 1123 00:56:48,322 --> 00:56:49,990 Come on, 90, 99! 1124 00:56:53,411 --> 00:56:55,079 The pig is eating my body! 1125 00:57:16,016 --> 00:57:18,185 Keep your eyes on the river, sweetheart 1126 00:57:18,352 --> 00:57:20,938 Yes. I was looking at the canyon 1127 00:57:26,694 --> 00:57:28,946 Hey, what're you guys doing? 1128 00:57:29,113 --> 00:57:32,366 That bridge can only handle one person at a time! 1129 00:57:33,826 --> 00:57:35,035 Go, go, go! 1130 00:57:35,119 --> 00:57:37,288 What'd he say? What'd you say? 1131 00:57:41,041 --> 00:57:43,127 Holy Devlin! 1132 00:57:45,129 --> 00:57:46,297 Come on, let's go 1133 00:57:46,464 --> 00:57:49,133 Piggyback times are magical times, aren't they? 1134 00:57:49,216 --> 00:57:51,552 Yeah, aren't they? You're warping my spine now 1135 00:57:53,721 --> 00:57:55,514 I think Kiki slipped 1136 00:57:57,349 --> 00:58:00,686 Oh, Father, I just love spending time with you! 1137 00:58:02,897 --> 00:58:04,899 Oh, my God! 1138 00:58:06,192 --> 00:58:07,693 You guys, look at this! 1139 00:58:07,860 --> 00:58:09,820 - Oh, my God! - It's lovely! 1140 00:58:10,571 --> 00:58:12,406 That is unbelievable 1141 00:58:12,573 --> 00:58:15,659 I don't know about you guys, but I am gonna go cool off. 1142 00:58:15,826 --> 00:58:17,495 Really? There could be black pigs in there 1143 00:58:17,870 --> 00:58:19,371 I agree 1144 00:58:19,538 --> 00:58:21,081 Look at that. That's terrific 1145 00:58:21,582 --> 00:58:24,752 Does the hotel know you took those pillows, honey? 1146 00:58:26,003 --> 00:58:28,088 She really wears that bikini well 1147 00:58:28,339 --> 00:58:29,423 Yeah 1148 00:58:29,548 --> 00:58:32,843 You know what she'd wear well? Dental floss and a pirate hat. 1149 00:58:33,010 --> 00:58:34,595 - Don't say that. - Absolutely gross 1150 00:58:37,097 --> 00:58:38,432 Oh, my God! Gorgeous! 1151 00:58:38,557 --> 00:58:39,600 Perfect 1152 00:58:39,725 --> 00:58:41,769 That was a ten! A perfect ten! 1153 00:58:43,395 --> 00:58:44,688 So, Al Jolson 1154 00:58:44,897 --> 00:58:45,940 you mind jumping in the water 1155 00:58:46,023 --> 00:58:48,275 and also screaming on the way down "I love my daddy"? 1156 00:58:48,400 --> 00:58:49,860 OKEY 1157 00:58:50,569 --> 00:58:51,695 Yeah, do it, do it for me 1158 00:58:51,862 --> 00:58:53,280 - Do it for Da-da. - I love my daddy 1159 00:58:53,364 --> 00:58:55,449 Daddy is my favorite adult! 1160 00:58:56,575 --> 00:58:58,619 You're paying her enough for this, right? 1161 00:58:58,786 --> 00:59:01,705 And I love you, my little British crumpet! 1162 00:59:02,748 --> 00:59:04,458 All right, homeboy, you're up next. Let's go 1163 00:59:04,625 --> 00:59:06,252 Come up with something on your own 1164 00:59:08,254 --> 00:59:09,713 You gotta squeeze out another log? 1165 00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:11,549 What happened? What'd he whisper to you? 1166 00:59:12,091 --> 00:59:13,467 Water's too deep 1167 00:59:13,634 --> 00:59:15,052 Water's too deep for what? 1168 00:59:15,219 --> 00:59:16,303 He can't swim 1169 00:59:16,804 --> 00:59:18,430 He can't swim? 1170 00:59:18,764 --> 00:59:23,143 And you wanna swim with the dolphins? That makes a lot of sense. 1171 00:59:23,978 --> 00:59:25,479 Hadn't thought it through 1172 00:59:25,646 --> 00:59:27,314 No kidding you didn't think it through 1173 00:59:27,481 --> 00:59:29,233 Thought about spending all my money though, didn't you? 1174 00:59:29,400 --> 00:59:31,610 - Danny! - I'm saying, I'm not the kid's 1175 00:59:31,777 --> 00:59:34,154 Okay. No one taught you how to swim, huh? 1176 00:59:34,488 --> 00:59:37,908 Well, my dad's supposed to, but he's busy 1177 00:59:38,158 --> 00:59:40,119 Busy being an idiot 1178 00:59:51,505 --> 00:59:54,842 You guys have to come in the water feels magical! 1179 00:59:55,259 --> 00:59:58,637 I got something magical, too Right in the downstairs area 1180 00:59:58,804 --> 01:00:00,431 I don't high-five when it's 1181 01:00:00,598 --> 01:00:01,682 Downstairs area! 1182 01:00:01,849 --> 01:00:03,475 - No, put it away. Sorry - No, stop. 1183 01:00:03,642 --> 01:00:06,478 You know what? I think Mommy's gonna explore the magical waters 1184 01:00:06,604 --> 01:00:08,606 Honey, are you okay to hang out here with fake Daddy? 1185 01:00:09,148 --> 01:00:10,274 Sure 1186 01:00:10,357 --> 01:00:12,985 Really? You're gonna get undressed? What are you doing? 1187 01:00:13,152 --> 01:00:14,695 - What? - You got a bathing cap, too? 1188 01:00:14,862 --> 01:00:16,030 You're the worst 1189 01:00:16,113 --> 01:00:19,033 A 1920s swimming gown on, honey? 1190 01:00:19,491 --> 01:00:21,327 Don't do it. Don't take it off 1191 01:00:35,299 --> 01:00:37,384 - Yeah. - I have to be alone 1192 01:00:37,551 --> 01:00:38,719 OKEY 1193 01:00:42,389 --> 01:00:44,558 God, I gotta start taking the stairs more 1194 01:00:44,683 --> 01:00:45,809 Don't buy that line 1195 01:00:45,893 --> 01:00:48,228 She takes spinning classes like they're MandM's. 1196 01:00:55,069 --> 01:00:56,820 I think he's wearing my underwear 1197 01:00:59,198 --> 01:01:00,366 What is he doing? 1198 01:01:00,824 --> 01:01:02,743 Yo, I guarantee you fall! 1199 01:01:03,077 --> 01:01:04,244 I'm all set 1200 01:01:08,415 --> 01:01:09,833 Thank you, God 1201 01:01:13,253 --> 01:01:16,674 I wanna climb Palmer Mountain, so what do you say we get rid of these kids? 1202 01:01:16,757 --> 01:01:19,426 No. They had them last night. It's our turn 1203 01:01:19,551 --> 01:01:21,929 Isn't that how things work? We alternate? 1204 01:01:22,054 --> 01:01:23,514 - What? - No. 1205 01:01:23,597 --> 01:01:26,433 I get the kids... I had them today 1206 01:01:26,558 --> 01:01:29,019 That counted as a "me" day and then she gets them at night 1207 01:01:29,103 --> 01:01:30,354 That's how we do it 1208 01:01:30,771 --> 01:01:31,939 Dolph, Devlin, 1209 01:01:32,022 --> 01:01:35,234 do you want us to watch the kids so that you guys can have a little alone time? 1210 01:01:35,567 --> 01:01:37,444 - I don't think... - Yes! Absoshnutelyl 1211 01:01:37,569 --> 01:01:38,862 We are sleeping together! 1212 01:01:38,946 --> 01:01:40,781 You guys have your own beds and it's our time! 1213 01:01:40,864 --> 01:01:43,534 - So we're gonna watch them - Good. 1214 01:01:45,119 --> 01:01:46,870 You guys wanna come take a look at the balcony? 1215 01:01:46,954 --> 01:01:48,122 I think I saw some dolphins around here 1216 01:01:48,247 --> 01:01:51,458 Dolphins? Hey, he loves those, right? Dolphins. 1217 01:01:51,583 --> 01:01:54,128 - Sorry. Okay, go. - All right, let go. Come on 1218 01:01:54,211 --> 01:01:55,546 - Get the dolphins - Bye, you guys. 1219 01:01:55,629 --> 01:01:58,549 That's why we're here, the dolphins See you out there. 1220 01:01:58,716 --> 01:02:01,719 Listen, if anything happens and you need any... And I mean anything 1221 01:02:01,802 --> 01:02:03,053 you have to call me 1222 01:02:03,137 --> 01:02:04,555 I'm good at this, I swear to you 1223 01:02:04,638 --> 01:02:06,807 I used to baby-sit Eddie when we were children. 1224 01:02:07,224 --> 01:02:09,226 - Eddie is your fault? - No, no, no. 1225 01:02:09,309 --> 01:02:12,312 But I want you to enjoy tonight Come on, it's like a free night. 1226 01:02:12,396 --> 01:02:13,814 You can do whatever you want 1227 01:02:13,897 --> 01:02:17,735 You can knit yourself some socks or shock people with your sneaky hot body 1228 01:02:17,818 --> 01:02:19,486 - I don't know what you're talking about - Cary Grant? 1229 01:02:19,653 --> 01:02:20,988 I'm just gonna sit in my room 1230 01:02:21,113 --> 01:02:23,657 and worry about you and them and everything. 1231 01:02:23,741 --> 01:02:27,244 What aboutjust hang out platonically with Eddie tonight? Have some dinner? 1232 01:02:27,327 --> 01:02:31,832 Or is he not good enough? You need Brian the guy from Foghat, around here. 1233 01:02:31,999 --> 01:02:35,169 That really bothered you that I went to lunch with that guy 1234 01:02:35,252 --> 01:02:36,754 What do you mean, you went to lunch with him? 1235 01:02:36,837 --> 01:02:38,839 I told you I was going to lunch with him 1236 01:02:39,006 --> 01:02:42,092 I thought it was he asked you to lunch and you were gonna like scoff at it. 1237 01:02:42,176 --> 01:02:44,511 But you did? You fell for his charms? 1238 01:02:44,970 --> 01:02:47,347 I don't even understand what this is 1239 01:02:47,431 --> 01:02:48,766 It's the beard, man 1240 01:02:48,974 --> 01:02:50,142 It doesn't move! 1241 01:02:50,309 --> 01:02:53,020 Well, yeah, in the wind, man It's flapping around. 1242 01:02:53,187 --> 01:02:54,605 All right. You know what? I'll tell you this 1243 01:02:54,688 --> 01:02:57,274 The guy made it through an entire lunch with a woman 1244 01:02:57,357 --> 01:02:58,984 without making up a fake life 1245 01:03:01,153 --> 01:03:02,362 You just hurt me 1246 01:03:02,780 --> 01:03:05,532 That was not nice, but it was the truth 1247 01:03:05,616 --> 01:03:07,701 And I speak the truth 1248 01:03:07,785 --> 01:03:09,453 Please pay attention to my children 1249 01:03:09,536 --> 01:03:10,662 Everything will be nice 1250 01:03:10,788 --> 01:03:13,540 They serve room service in the hallway 1251 01:03:13,957 --> 01:03:16,043 I'm so nauseous. Okay. Bye 1252 01:03:19,630 --> 01:03:21,340 Alone at last! 1253 01:03:26,220 --> 01:03:29,973 Let's play the game. We were doing so good with the game 1254 01:03:30,808 --> 01:03:34,645 If you could be one person besides yourself, 1255 01:03:34,895 --> 01:03:36,021 who would you be?' 1256 01:03:36,897 --> 01:03:39,900 Rachael Ray, because I've always wanted to know how to cook. 1257 01:03:39,983 --> 01:03:41,735 - Really? - Oh, she's darling 1258 01:03:41,985 --> 01:03:44,488 You know what? I don't really wanna be anyone else 1259 01:03:44,571 --> 01:03:47,241 I'm happy with who I am. I choose me 1260 01:03:47,574 --> 01:03:49,576 Or Captain Kirk. Either one 1261 01:03:49,701 --> 01:03:51,495 - See, that's a good one - All right. 1262 01:03:51,662 --> 01:03:52,830 What about you, Bart? 1263 01:03:54,164 --> 01:03:55,916 Mr. DeCesare 1264 01:03:56,250 --> 01:03:58,252 Our mailman? Why? 1265 01:03:58,919 --> 01:04:02,339 He just seems like he's got it all figured out 1266 01:04:02,589 --> 01:04:04,091 We're getting deep 1267 01:04:04,716 --> 01:04:06,260 Okay, moving on 1268 01:04:07,928 --> 01:04:11,265 Okay. "Name something that makes you sad" 1269 01:04:12,891 --> 01:04:17,104 That Judi Dench has never won the Oscar for Best Actress. 1270 01:04:18,105 --> 01:04:19,898 It's a travesty 1271 01:04:21,108 --> 01:04:23,277 That 'N Sync broke up 1272 01:04:24,361 --> 01:04:26,613 Yeah. That was rough on all of us 1273 01:04:27,197 --> 01:04:28,949 Who's 'N Sync? 1274 01:04:29,867 --> 01:04:32,119 Sadness. Bart, you're up 1275 01:04:33,287 --> 01:04:35,289 I don't wanna say mine 1276 01:04:35,455 --> 01:04:37,249 Okay. Let's move on then 1277 01:04:37,416 --> 01:04:38,458 Hey! 1278 01:04:38,584 --> 01:04:40,752 Honey, come on. You can share anything with us 1279 01:04:40,919 --> 01:04:43,797 Yeah, share. He looks like he's about to lose it, but okay 1280 01:04:45,048 --> 01:04:48,135 When my dad doesn't have time for me 1281 01:04:49,136 --> 01:04:50,470 Come on, it's okay 1282 01:04:50,637 --> 01:04:55,058 We're okay. We're okay. It's fine It's all gonna be okay. 1283 01:04:55,142 --> 01:04:56,393 Come on 1284 01:04:56,476 --> 01:04:58,645 We don't need him in our lives 1285 01:04:59,146 --> 01:05:01,481 - Wow. - No, no, no, he's 1286 01:05:01,607 --> 01:05:02,816 We're okay. It's fine 1287 01:05:02,983 --> 01:05:04,443 It's all gonna be okay 1288 01:05:04,985 --> 01:05:08,906 This has nothing to... This is, like, from a long time ago! 1289 01:05:10,282 --> 01:05:11,992 It's okay 1290 01:05:13,785 --> 01:05:14,828 What are you doing? 1291 01:05:15,495 --> 01:05:17,581 Well, that was a major setback 1292 01:05:18,165 --> 01:05:20,667 When my dad doesn't have time for me 1293 01:05:21,335 --> 01:05:22,586 We're sorry 1294 01:05:22,669 --> 01:05:25,672 I know you're sorry. I know you got real stuff going on with your family. 1295 01:05:25,839 --> 01:05:27,007 And it's painful 1296 01:05:27,132 --> 01:05:30,677 But you gotta just hold it in till you get to the mainland again 1297 01:05:30,802 --> 01:05:33,263 You're the ones who wanted to come here and go swimming with the dolphins 1298 01:05:33,347 --> 01:05:35,474 or standing with the dolphins because you can't swim. 1299 01:05:35,766 --> 01:05:37,684 - Can you act professional? - Yes, sir. 1300 01:05:37,768 --> 01:05:39,853 For at least two more days, until I kill you off 1301 01:05:39,978 --> 01:05:42,022 in a boarding school train accident? 1302 01:05:42,314 --> 01:05:43,857 I thought it was a car accident 1303 01:05:44,024 --> 01:05:46,443 I don't know. Either that or a science explosion, just something 1304 01:05:46,526 --> 01:05:48,779 You're gonna be dead soon. That's the good news. Okay? 1305 01:05:48,862 --> 01:05:51,114 So, can you just focus for a few more days? 1306 01:05:51,198 --> 01:05:52,532 - Yes. - Good 1307 01:05:52,699 --> 01:05:54,117 So, give me some fake hugs right now 1308 01:05:54,201 --> 01:05:56,536 and laugh real loud like we're the happiest family on earth 1309 01:05:56,703 --> 01:05:58,205 - Okay. - Ls that possible? 1310 01:05:58,372 --> 01:06:00,791 And laughing, laughing, laughing 1311 01:06:00,958 --> 01:06:03,377 Okay, that's it. Laugh louder, louder 1312 01:06:05,879 --> 01:06:07,297 I love you guys! 1313 01:06:07,381 --> 01:06:09,883 Hey, sweetie! What's going on? What's up? 1314 01:06:10,050 --> 01:06:13,136 So, kids, I just got off the phone with your mom 1315 01:06:13,303 --> 01:06:17,307 and you guys are gonna have plenty of time to spend with your dad tomorrow 1316 01:06:17,391 --> 01:06:20,519 because she and I are gonna have a nice, long spa day. 1317 01:06:21,728 --> 01:06:24,815 Awesome! Awesome, awesome 1318 01:06:24,982 --> 01:06:26,817 You guys are so 1319 01:06:27,192 --> 01:06:29,861 I'll see you in a minute, okay? I love you. 1320 01:06:33,240 --> 01:06:34,992 - Okay, he's losing it - Okay, good night. 1321 01:06:35,075 --> 01:06:36,159 He's losing it 1322 01:06:36,243 --> 01:06:39,329 All right, here we go. Everybody out 1323 01:06:41,248 --> 01:06:42,749 So, what are we doing? 1324 01:06:42,916 --> 01:06:45,252 Palmer forgot her camera in the room 1325 01:06:45,419 --> 01:06:48,338 so I'm gonna have a surprise for her when she gets back from the spa. 1326 01:06:48,422 --> 01:06:49,756 A stolen camera? 1327 01:06:49,840 --> 01:06:52,426 No, some pictures of us having a great time 1328 01:06:52,551 --> 01:06:55,095 reassuring her of all the fun we have together. 1329 01:06:56,388 --> 01:06:59,182 I forgot to flush the toilet before I left the hotel. 1330 01:06:59,558 --> 01:07:02,102 - So she's gonna have two surprises - Okay. 1331 01:07:02,185 --> 01:07:04,271 No one's supposed to crap as much as you do. 1332 01:07:04,396 --> 01:07:06,606 You gotta look into that Pepto Bismol or something. 1333 01:07:06,773 --> 01:07:08,942 Here's your putters. Bing 1334 01:07:09,359 --> 01:07:10,861 - And a bam - Thank you 1335 01:07:10,944 --> 01:07:12,612 Let's just look right in the camera 1336 01:07:12,779 --> 01:07:13,947 And we're having fun 1337 01:07:14,114 --> 01:07:15,949 And we're a family. We love each other 1338 01:07:16,616 --> 01:07:17,784 And boo! 1339 01:07:18,201 --> 01:07:20,620 All right, let's do the old Michael-hit-a-putt shot. Okay? 1340 01:07:20,704 --> 01:07:22,622 So boom, that's in the hole 1341 01:07:22,748 --> 01:07:26,126 And you're excited about that and we're happy for him, and. 1342 01:07:27,377 --> 01:07:29,463 Maggie just hit the ball, but you followed through too much 1343 01:07:29,588 --> 01:07:30,964 and it made you fall on your back 1344 01:07:31,089 --> 01:07:32,466 Okay, but... Look at this 1345 01:07:32,549 --> 01:07:34,718 You're laughing, but I'm a concerned father so I'm like, 1346 01:07:34,801 --> 01:07:35,927 'Oh, my God 1347 01:07:37,054 --> 01:07:38,638 All right, now 1348 01:07:38,764 --> 01:07:40,807 let's just laugh at something I say because I'm a funny dad. 1349 01:07:40,891 --> 01:07:42,893 You're very close with me, and you think I'm funny, and 1350 01:07:42,976 --> 01:07:45,645 Why are we always laughing? Is there something wrong with us? 1351 01:07:46,104 --> 01:07:48,648 No. You're just amused by everything I say So, here we go. 1352 01:07:48,732 --> 01:07:51,234 Can we take a break? Do something really fun? 1353 01:07:51,318 --> 01:07:54,654 No, we're not doing anything fun, man We're here to fake having fun. 1354 01:07:54,780 --> 01:07:55,906 Come on. Right to the camera 1355 01:07:55,989 --> 01:07:58,909 Don't worry. We never have fun with our real dad either 1356 01:07:59,910 --> 01:08:01,495 Oh, man 1357 01:08:03,163 --> 01:08:05,832 All right. How's this? I'll teach you how to swim, okay? 1358 01:08:05,916 --> 01:08:10,170 Before your mother gets back from the "spa day" in four hours? 1359 01:08:10,337 --> 01:08:12,005 - Is that even possible? - Yeah. 1360 01:08:12,172 --> 01:08:13,965 But we're gonna take one more picture, if you don't mind. 1361 01:08:14,174 --> 01:08:16,343 Make that two pictures. Maggie 1362 01:08:17,677 --> 01:08:19,096 Throw this straight in the air Make it look like... 1363 01:08:19,179 --> 01:08:20,847 On the count of three, one, two, three 1364 01:08:20,972 --> 01:08:22,015 OKEY 1365 01:08:22,182 --> 01:08:23,683 Now, Michael, lay down 1366 01:08:24,643 --> 01:08:26,603 On your back. And 1367 01:08:26,686 --> 01:08:29,189 Yeah, all the way over. See if you can clench this 1368 01:08:29,272 --> 01:08:31,108 Now look like you're in pain 1369 01:08:35,529 --> 01:08:37,948 It took my friend a whole summer to learn how to swim. 1370 01:08:38,323 --> 01:08:39,658 How're you gonna teach me so quick? 1371 01:08:39,825 --> 01:08:42,202 I'm gonna do it the same way my grandfather taught me. 1372 01:08:46,289 --> 01:08:50,877 Don't worry. It took Grandpa eight hours to teach us. It was a nightmare 1373 01:08:51,294 --> 01:08:55,549 But there's two of us here now, and we're sober. You're gonna be fine 1374 01:08:56,216 --> 01:08:57,551 All right. You're doing great 1375 01:08:57,717 --> 01:08:59,386 - ls he doing great? - He's doing great. 1376 01:08:59,511 --> 01:09:03,056 Okay. We want to advance a little, though I need you to swim to Uncle Eddie. 1377 01:09:03,181 --> 01:09:06,059 If you get there without touching the bottom we'll give you a dolphin cookie. 1378 01:09:08,687 --> 01:09:10,063 Is that what your grandpa gave you? 1379 01:09:10,480 --> 01:09:13,150 No, Grandpa gave us something he'd call a Heineken 1380 01:09:13,233 --> 01:09:15,652 - I want one of those. - No. Stick with the dolphin cookie 1381 01:09:15,735 --> 01:09:18,488 Yeah. They hurt less when they get thrown at your head 1382 01:09:18,572 --> 01:09:20,073 God, he was a sick man 1383 01:09:20,157 --> 01:09:23,827 Yeah. Okay? Are we ready? Don't think about it. Commit. Kick, kick 1384 01:09:23,910 --> 01:09:25,745 - Get the cookie - Move your feet 1385 01:09:27,497 --> 01:09:28,915 Kick, kick! 1386 01:09:29,082 --> 01:09:30,917 Right there! Reach for it! You got it! 1387 01:09:31,084 --> 01:09:32,169 Doing good, buddy! 1388 01:09:34,004 --> 01:09:35,255 There you 99! 1389 01:09:35,422 --> 01:09:37,424 My boy! That was terrific, buddy 1390 01:09:37,507 --> 01:09:40,010 Have your cookie. We're gonna move on, though 1391 01:09:40,093 --> 01:09:41,386 Hey, Devlin? 1392 01:09:42,596 --> 01:09:44,514 - Devlin? - Yeah? 1393 01:09:44,890 --> 01:09:48,560 So, Danny's birthday is next week, and I have no idea what to get him 1394 01:09:51,438 --> 01:09:53,106 Well, don't get him a tie 1395 01:09:53,231 --> 01:09:55,358 He has 100 of them and he never wears them 1396 01:09:55,442 --> 01:09:56,568 That's good to know 1397 01:09:57,110 --> 01:09:58,945 He loves books on tape for his car 1398 01:09:59,029 --> 01:10:00,238 Fishing gear 1399 01:10:00,739 --> 01:10:02,949 Loves it. Doesn't use it 1400 01:10:03,033 --> 01:10:06,453 Can't take the fish off of the hook once he catches it, so he just collects it 1401 01:10:07,204 --> 01:10:10,540 He loves candy. Jelly Bellies Loves them, his favorite. 1402 01:10:10,624 --> 01:10:12,626 But he only likes the Cotton Candy and the Peanut Butter. 1403 01:10:12,709 --> 01:10:14,794 So you have to buy the bag of the Jelly Bellies, 1404 01:10:14,920 --> 01:10:16,463 separate the Cotton Candy and the Peanut Butter 1405 01:10:16,546 --> 01:10:17,631 and put them into a little 1406 01:10:17,797 --> 01:10:19,633 It's a kind of Ziploc baggies that I got online 1407 01:10:19,716 --> 01:10:21,635 You know so much about him 1408 01:10:22,719 --> 01:10:23,803 Yeah 1409 01:10:24,304 --> 01:10:26,765 I've known the guy forever 1410 01:10:28,600 --> 01:10:30,727 Music. Loves music 1411 01:10:30,977 --> 01:10:34,314 But anything after '95, don't bother You'll lose him. 1412 01:10:34,814 --> 01:10:36,775 That's when I finished my Girl Scouts 1413 01:10:38,985 --> 01:10:40,612 All right. How many cookies do we got left? 1414 01:10:41,321 --> 01:10:42,614 Maybe about forty! 1415 01:10:43,114 --> 01:10:45,325 What do you think, 40 feet for 40 cookies? 1416 01:10:45,450 --> 01:10:47,160 Can you handle that? You need a little rest? 1417 01:10:47,244 --> 01:10:48,328 Let's do this 1418 01:10:48,620 --> 01:10:51,414 Really? Okay, he's ready! He's ready to rock! 1419 01:10:51,498 --> 01:10:52,832 Almost 1420 01:10:53,166 --> 01:10:54,251 What? No 1421 01:10:54,417 --> 01:10:58,171 Oh, my! Ladies and gentlemen, off come the floatiesl 1422 01:10:58,505 --> 01:11:00,173 This is getting serious! 1423 01:11:00,298 --> 01:11:01,466 Are you sure about this, Michael? 1424 01:11:01,675 --> 01:11:03,260 - Hell, yeah - All right. 1425 01:11:03,343 --> 01:11:05,428 No matter what, you're a good man, okay? 1426 01:11:05,845 --> 01:11:07,764 Keep kicking. I'm here if you need me 1427 01:11:07,847 --> 01:11:08,932 You got this 1428 01:11:09,015 --> 01:11:10,517 - Go! - Go, Michael! 1429 01:11:10,767 --> 01:11:12,185 - Go! Breathe! - Yeah! 1430 01:11:12,602 --> 01:11:13,853 - Kick it! - Go! 1431 01:11:13,937 --> 01:11:15,355 - Move your arms! - Yeah! 1432 01:11:17,023 --> 01:11:18,692 He doesn't have floaties on! 1433 01:11:19,109 --> 01:11:20,360 Oh, my God! 1434 01:11:20,610 --> 01:11:21,820 Get the cookies! 1435 01:11:22,153 --> 01:11:24,781 Come on, sweetheart! You've got it! A little bit more, little bit more. 1436 01:11:27,701 --> 01:11:29,536 - Swim! Swim! - Oh, my God! 1437 01:11:29,619 --> 01:11:30,996 - Come on! - Just a little bit more! 1438 01:11:32,372 --> 01:11:33,873 Keep going, Michael! Don't give up! 1439 01:11:40,463 --> 01:11:41,631 Very nice! 1440 01:11:41,840 --> 01:11:44,551 That's my boy! Yeah, buddy! 1441 01:11:44,634 --> 01:11:46,970 I did it! I did it! 1442 01:11:47,178 --> 01:11:48,221 Thank you! 1443 01:11:48,388 --> 01:11:49,889 No way, that was you, buddy 1444 01:11:50,056 --> 01:11:52,517 That was awesome. Way to go! 1445 01:12:00,734 --> 01:12:02,068 What are we looking at? 1446 01:12:02,360 --> 01:12:04,154 Jeez. Oh, God. Devlin 1447 01:12:05,989 --> 01:12:08,908 Devlin. Oh, God. You snuck up on me 1448 01:12:09,200 --> 01:12:10,577 - Did I? - Yes. 1449 01:12:10,910 --> 01:12:13,538 Do you startle easily? That's a sign of menopause 1450 01:12:14,539 --> 01:12:16,082 Devlin? 1451 01:12:16,166 --> 01:12:18,335 Palmer Dodge, this is Devlin 1452 01:12:18,418 --> 01:12:20,503 She and I went to college together 1453 01:12:21,212 --> 01:12:23,590 - This is Palmer Dodge - Aloha, Palmer. 1454 01:12:23,923 --> 01:12:25,508 Is this your daughter? 1455 01:12:26,426 --> 01:12:29,346 No, no, no. I'm actually the girlfriend 1456 01:12:29,429 --> 01:12:30,513 Whose girlfriend? 1457 01:12:30,597 --> 01:12:31,931 Yes, hi 1458 01:12:33,183 --> 01:12:36,353 I am the Dolph. Willkommen And you're very beautiful. 1459 01:12:36,436 --> 01:12:38,605 Married, flattered. Thanks. Where's Danny? 1460 01:12:38,897 --> 01:12:42,359 Danny is in the water teaching our little boy how to swim 1461 01:12:42,442 --> 01:12:43,610 Hi, Doctor! 1462 01:12:44,694 --> 01:12:45,695 He was so sweet 1463 01:12:45,779 --> 01:12:48,031 You know what's so crazy is that I have never met anybody 1464 01:12:48,114 --> 01:12:49,449 with the first name Devlin before 1465 01:12:49,574 --> 01:12:52,243 You know, and here you are, and your name's Devlin and.. 1466 01:12:52,369 --> 01:12:53,703 Shark attack! 1467 01:12:55,121 --> 01:12:57,791 We are playing Bavarian pool rugby and now I'm in the lead. 1468 01:12:57,957 --> 01:12:59,125 Okay, bye! 1469 01:13:00,960 --> 01:13:03,546 She's trying to beat me, but she won't 1470 01:13:03,922 --> 01:13:05,048 No one can! 1471 01:13:05,715 --> 01:13:06,800 This is fun! 1472 01:13:06,966 --> 01:13:09,219 Anyway, something's opened up in our schedule tonight. 1473 01:13:09,302 --> 01:13:12,222 So, we were wondering if you and Danny were good to go for dinner. 1474 01:13:12,305 --> 01:13:14,557 - Oceano's. Seven o'clock - No... 1475 01:13:14,641 --> 01:13:17,894 Oh, no, you don't! She's like a shark Come on. 1476 01:13:18,311 --> 01:13:20,146 Is it a bad night? Are you two fighting? 1477 01:13:20,230 --> 01:13:24,067 No! We're not fighting. No, we just, we're delighting. We're just fine 1478 01:13:24,150 --> 01:13:26,820 No, that's great. Tonight's gonna happen Yeah, perfect. 1479 01:13:26,945 --> 01:13:30,073 - Perfect. Anyway, see you tonight! - Okay, Devlin. 1480 01:13:30,156 --> 01:13:32,242 Oh, my God! Dolph, let her breathe! 1481 01:13:32,325 --> 01:13:33,493 Yes, I 1482 01:13:34,744 --> 01:13:35,912 - Dolph! - What? 1483 01:13:35,995 --> 01:13:37,080 What was that? 1484 01:13:39,082 --> 01:13:41,418 I was... Were you under 1485 01:13:42,836 --> 01:13:45,004 I don't understand. Why would you say yes? 1486 01:13:45,130 --> 01:13:47,924 Because I didn't know, I didn't say no 1487 01:13:48,091 --> 01:13:50,677 I'm not leaving here. What would I tell Palmer? 1488 01:13:58,017 --> 01:13:59,477 What's going on, sweetie? 1489 01:14:00,019 --> 01:14:04,941 So, today, you know, with Dolph pushing me in the pool. It was weird, right? 1490 01:14:05,442 --> 01:14:08,528 No, no, no. He's a sheepherder. That's what those guys do, you know? 1491 01:14:08,653 --> 01:14:12,532 They do a lot of horseplay and that's kind of initiation time for you 1492 01:14:12,699 --> 01:14:14,200 You're in the gang, I think 1493 01:14:15,201 --> 01:14:16,828 Okay. Yeah 1494 01:14:17,454 --> 01:14:19,664 Well, I was thinking for tonight 1495 01:14:19,831 --> 01:14:23,501 maybe we could have a little me and you time? 1496 01:14:26,671 --> 01:14:29,007 I'll get my rubber duck and see you in a sec 1497 01:14:30,216 --> 01:14:32,635 Yeah, no, I'm not doing this tonight 1498 01:14:32,719 --> 01:14:34,804 It's like my first night alone with the girl 1499 01:14:34,888 --> 01:14:36,681 All I'm asking you is one favor! 1500 01:14:36,848 --> 01:14:38,308 Just get this one dinner with me 1501 01:14:38,391 --> 01:14:43,062 so I can save face with this horrible, heinous human being 1502 01:14:43,188 --> 01:14:44,355 What am I gonna tell Palmer? 1503 01:14:44,481 --> 01:14:45,690 Would you just put her on the phone? 1504 01:14:50,403 --> 01:14:51,654 Oh, God 1505 01:14:51,905 --> 01:14:53,823 Tell me she is not listening to 'N Sync 1506 01:14:53,907 --> 01:14:56,701 No, no, no. It's coming from the elevator 1507 01:14:57,035 --> 01:14:58,077 Hey! 1508 01:14:58,203 --> 01:14:59,746 Danny, that is my jam 1509 01:15:00,497 --> 01:15:02,081 Someone on the phone for you 1510 01:15:02,248 --> 01:15:03,833 - I don't know who - Okay. 1511 01:15:04,667 --> 01:15:05,877 Hello? 1512 01:15:06,377 --> 01:15:07,420 What is that? 1513 01:15:07,545 --> 01:15:08,838 - It's Palmer - So? 1514 01:15:08,922 --> 01:15:10,673 I need you to get on the phone I need you to ask her out. 1515 01:15:10,757 --> 01:15:12,509 I need you to take her as far away from the hotel for the entire night. 1516 01:15:12,592 --> 01:15:13,760 Would you please just do this for me? 1517 01:15:13,843 --> 01:15:15,929 No, I'm already eating. I just wanna hang out 1518 01:15:16,596 --> 01:15:18,264 - Seriously, I need you. - What are you doing? No 1519 01:15:18,348 --> 01:15:19,933 My gosh 1520 01:15:20,016 --> 01:15:21,768 - Take it. - All right 1521 01:15:22,602 --> 01:15:23,937 Go for Dolph 1522 01:15:24,437 --> 01:15:25,605 It's Dolph 1523 01:15:25,855 --> 01:15:26,940 Okay, I got an idea 1524 01:15:27,190 --> 01:15:31,778 How about you and me, we go and get the dinner tonight? 1525 01:15:31,861 --> 01:15:32,946 To Supper? 1526 01:15:33,029 --> 01:15:34,280 Tonight? 1527 01:15:34,364 --> 01:15:37,534 Yes, and we get to know each other, because I think it's important for the kids 1528 01:15:37,617 --> 01:15:41,204 to have good symmetry in the family unit 1529 01:15:41,287 --> 01:15:43,414 Yeah, hang on. Let me check with Danny 1530 01:15:43,915 --> 01:15:45,708 Dolph wants to do dinner tonight 1531 01:15:45,959 --> 01:15:47,544 No. No, no, no 1532 01:15:47,627 --> 01:15:48,962 All right, tell him yeah 1533 01:15:50,964 --> 01:15:52,298 Yeah, that's fine 1534 01:15:53,132 --> 01:15:55,301 Awesome. Thank you so much 1535 01:15:55,885 --> 01:15:57,136 What am I supposed to say to her all night? 1536 01:15:57,470 --> 01:16:02,141 You spout crazy nonsense for hours in Eurotrashenese. 1537 01:16:02,308 --> 01:16:05,395 Just do it, but just do it far away from the hotel 1538 01:16:05,478 --> 01:16:09,440 Okay, fine, I'll do it, but if I do good can I sleep in the bed with you? 1539 01:16:10,066 --> 01:16:13,319 No. Why? You've got a great private room 1540 01:16:25,915 --> 01:16:28,084 Really? Because when we were in the Napa Valley 1541 01:16:28,167 --> 01:16:30,670 they said that wasn't a good time of year for Merlot. 1542 01:16:31,337 --> 01:16:34,132 How about the Verite Cabernet? 1543 01:16:34,591 --> 01:16:38,344 Isn't Cabernet really grapey? I mean, I like grapey, but not overly grapey 1544 01:16:38,469 --> 01:16:40,430 Did you go over the index cards? 1545 01:16:40,763 --> 01:16:42,515 I glanced at them, yes 1546 01:16:42,682 --> 01:16:43,766 You glanced at them? 1547 01:16:43,850 --> 01:16:47,854 I graduated med school without reading a book. Just relax 1548 01:16:47,937 --> 01:16:51,858 Just give us the most expensive bottle you have and it'll probably be good enough 1549 01:16:51,941 --> 01:16:53,192 Perfect! 1550 01:16:53,526 --> 01:16:54,944 Look at us, Katherine 1551 01:16:55,028 --> 01:16:57,530 Both so happily married. I mean 1552 01:16:57,822 --> 01:16:59,365 Can you believe it? 1553 01:16:59,866 --> 01:17:02,035 Everything I always hoped for, right, Yogi? 1554 01:17:02,118 --> 01:17:03,202 Boo-Boo 1555 01:17:03,286 --> 01:17:05,038 - My Yogi Bear - My Boo-Boo. 1556 01:17:07,457 --> 01:17:08,625 Never enough 1557 01:17:22,972 --> 01:17:24,057 Hold on a second 1558 01:17:25,058 --> 01:17:27,644 I love the way you smell 1559 01:17:27,727 --> 01:17:30,271 Nothing smells as good as Devlin 1560 01:17:30,730 --> 01:17:33,733 Smelling Devlin, always a good thing 1561 01:17:39,864 --> 01:17:41,240 This is really where we're eating? 1562 01:17:41,532 --> 01:17:44,661 Oh, yes. No, the hotel says it's amazing und very far away 1563 01:17:44,744 --> 01:17:45,870 Yeah, it's good 1564 01:17:46,913 --> 01:17:49,749 I want that car. I'll give you two chickens for it 1565 01:17:50,375 --> 01:17:52,669 Two chickens, that's very nice of you, but 1566 01:17:52,752 --> 01:17:53,836 Don't be scared 1567 01:17:53,920 --> 01:17:57,590 We're just here for dinner. Also, this car's worth about 10,000 chickens. 1568 01:17:58,257 --> 01:17:59,759 Don't pour over me 1569 01:17:59,967 --> 01:18:01,135 Don't pour over me 1570 01:18:02,428 --> 01:18:04,222 I'll bring my glass to you 1571 01:18:04,931 --> 01:18:07,141 So, Danny, you're a plastic surgeon 1572 01:18:07,266 --> 01:18:08,267 Yes 1573 01:18:08,768 --> 01:18:10,395 Very convenient for you, Katherine 1574 01:18:10,728 --> 01:18:13,773 No, this girl's had nothing done She's just a natural beauty. 1575 01:18:13,898 --> 01:18:15,066 - She really is - Sweetie. 1576 01:18:15,233 --> 01:18:17,610 What about me? What would you do to fix me? 1577 01:18:18,403 --> 01:18:19,696 Professionally speaking? 1578 01:18:19,779 --> 01:18:21,406 Nothing. I wouldn't do a thing to you 1579 01:18:21,489 --> 01:18:22,615 Nothing? 1580 01:18:22,782 --> 01:18:24,409 You're too sweet 1581 01:18:24,951 --> 01:18:26,744 They already took too much fat out of your arms, 1582 01:18:26,828 --> 01:18:28,246 but that's what sleeves are for 1583 01:18:29,414 --> 01:18:31,249 So, where did you two meet? 1584 01:18:32,500 --> 01:18:35,378 We just, we met at a concert 1585 01:18:35,461 --> 01:18:36,713 - Sting - Yeah 1586 01:18:36,796 --> 01:18:38,756 Live at the Index Card 1587 01:18:38,965 --> 01:18:41,467 It was a benefit for the rainforest 1588 01:18:44,178 --> 01:18:47,265 Someone's on the phone for you. I think it's the guy from The Omen 1589 01:18:49,642 --> 01:18:51,436 Go for the iMan 1590 01:18:52,311 --> 01:18:53,438 Hold on a second 1591 01:18:53,521 --> 01:18:56,274 Can I say something before you say what you're gonna say? 1592 01:18:56,774 --> 01:19:00,111 Seeing the man who invented the iPod on the iPhone, 1593 01:19:00,194 --> 01:19:02,530 - saying, Go for the iMan - Yeah. 1594 01:19:02,655 --> 01:19:04,657 That was like watching Ronald McDonald 1595 01:19:04,782 --> 01:19:06,451 eat a cheeseburger off the Grimace 1596 01:19:06,534 --> 01:19:08,745 - I'm serious. That was serious stuff - It's so true. 1597 01:19:08,828 --> 01:19:12,749 That, to me, was like watching Dr. Kevorkian kill himself. 1598 01:19:12,832 --> 01:19:13,916 Oh, no 1599 01:19:14,000 --> 01:19:18,004 I'm sorry. This is one of my foundations I've gotta take this. 1600 01:19:18,671 --> 01:19:21,549 Your virtue, your intelligence, your passion 1601 01:19:21,716 --> 01:19:25,720 Your beauty, your drive, and your womanhood. 1602 01:19:32,518 --> 01:19:35,271 It's something we do whenever the other leaves 1603 01:19:35,354 --> 01:19:37,482 We say what we love most about the other 1604 01:19:37,565 --> 01:19:39,233 - That's really nice. - That's big. I like that 1605 01:19:39,358 --> 01:19:40,651 You guys should try it 1606 01:19:40,860 --> 01:19:43,488 - Yes, we should. - We should. We'll try that later 1607 01:19:43,571 --> 01:19:45,490 - We have to. - Not everyone can do it 1608 01:19:46,199 --> 01:19:47,700 We'll do it now 1609 01:19:47,867 --> 01:19:49,869 - Right now - Okay. 1610 01:19:50,203 --> 01:19:54,874 So, broke and penniless, I took to the streets to sell my wares 1611 01:19:55,041 --> 01:19:57,210 And by wares, I mean my body 1612 01:19:57,543 --> 01:19:59,837 And by body, I mean my schnitzel 1613 01:20:01,255 --> 01:20:03,508 Help! ls there a veterinarian in the house? 1614 01:20:03,591 --> 01:20:06,052 My pet sheep, he passed out He's not breathing! 1615 01:20:06,177 --> 01:20:07,512 I don't know what's wrong with him! 1616 01:20:08,012 --> 01:20:11,432 Him! Him! He's not a vet, but he sells sheep for a living 1617 01:20:12,350 --> 01:20:13,726 Oh, me, yes 1618 01:20:14,060 --> 01:20:16,145 I do, yes. I am that 1619 01:20:16,229 --> 01:20:17,396 Please come this way! 1620 01:20:17,855 --> 01:20:18,898 _NoW? 'Yes! 1621 01:20:19,065 --> 01:20:21,400 - This way, this way! - What is this? 1622 01:20:21,567 --> 01:20:23,444 Is that a real sheep? 1623 01:20:26,447 --> 01:20:27,740 OKEY 1624 01:20:28,741 --> 01:20:30,034 Yes 1625 01:20:31,202 --> 01:20:32,620 Hello 1626 01:20:32,787 --> 01:20:33,913 Yes? 1627 01:20:36,290 --> 01:20:39,961 Yes, in my expert opinion that sheep is dead. 1628 01:20:40,211 --> 01:20:41,254 I'm very sorry 1629 01:20:41,420 --> 01:20:43,256 Let's go eat. Okay, show's over. Let's go 1630 01:20:45,091 --> 01:20:47,426 He's still alive! Please, you have to do something! 1631 01:20:47,718 --> 01:20:49,470 Oh, shit on me 1632 01:20:50,054 --> 01:20:54,725 You look each other in the eyes and you say what you love about the other 1633 01:20:54,809 --> 01:20:57,937 We can't just say it? We gotta look at each other for this thing? 1634 01:20:58,062 --> 01:20:59,939 Okay. Yes. We're so ready 1635 01:21:00,231 --> 01:21:01,399 Are you ready? 1636 01:21:01,607 --> 01:21:02,733 Go ahead 1637 01:21:03,109 --> 01:21:05,069 - You're on - Okay. 1638 01:21:05,152 --> 01:21:06,571 Come on 1639 01:21:12,410 --> 01:21:13,953 I love your sense of humor 1640 01:21:14,078 --> 01:21:15,246 You do? 1641 01:21:16,289 --> 01:21:17,623 All of it? 1642 01:21:17,957 --> 01:21:20,418 Every dirty bit of it 1643 01:21:21,794 --> 01:21:24,255 I love your stories 1644 01:21:24,338 --> 01:21:26,757 - Yes. They can go long, but - It's okay. 1645 01:21:26,924 --> 01:21:28,926 - ...L try to finish strong - Always entertaining. 1646 01:21:30,678 --> 01:21:32,346 And I love that you 1647 01:21:33,139 --> 01:21:35,349 Love that you read the index cards 1648 01:21:36,309 --> 01:21:37,768 Of course 1649 01:21:39,353 --> 01:21:41,647 And I love that you secretly 1650 01:21:42,690 --> 01:21:45,526 have a huge heart 1651 01:21:46,944 --> 01:21:51,324 and it's just filled with kindness 1652 01:21:53,200 --> 01:21:55,036 and humility 1653 01:21:55,494 --> 01:21:56,829 And blood? 1654 01:21:57,038 --> 01:21:59,206 I'm sure there's blood 1655 01:22:03,127 --> 01:22:04,837 I don't know, I 1656 01:22:05,838 --> 01:22:10,718 I just think you're a really nice person and I really like... 1657 01:22:12,345 --> 01:22:14,722 I really love spending time with you 1658 01:22:16,182 --> 01:22:19,352 That's good enough for me right there Yeah, game over. 1659 01:22:20,353 --> 01:22:21,854 Danny? 1660 01:22:22,188 --> 01:22:24,190 Game back on? We gotta 1661 01:22:26,067 --> 01:22:28,694 Well, I'd like to start off by saying 1662 01:22:28,819 --> 01:22:32,823 that I love the most that you fixed your teeth 1663 01:22:33,532 --> 01:22:34,742 Why did I know that 1664 01:22:35,034 --> 01:22:37,203 They were horrible, I agree 1665 01:22:38,579 --> 01:22:39,747 No, no 1666 01:22:41,248 --> 01:22:42,917 You know what I love? 1667 01:22:43,334 --> 01:22:45,753 How you just do everything for everybody else 1668 01:22:45,878 --> 01:22:47,546 and you never expect anything back 1669 01:22:47,838 --> 01:22:51,884 In fact, when I say thank you, I don't know do you hear that or not? 1670 01:22:52,718 --> 01:22:54,095 It's cute 1671 01:22:54,261 --> 01:22:55,763 And I love 1672 01:22:57,098 --> 01:22:58,432 I just love 1673 01:23:00,685 --> 01:23:03,396 You're the only person I've never lied to in my life 1674 01:23:03,604 --> 01:23:05,231 I swear to God 1675 01:23:06,440 --> 01:23:09,402 I just trust you more than anybody in the world 1676 01:23:09,902 --> 01:23:11,612 You know every secret about me 1677 01:23:15,616 --> 01:23:17,118 I love your smile 1678 01:23:17,284 --> 01:23:19,787 That smile is the magic 1679 01:23:20,454 --> 01:23:22,873 When I'm in the operating room all I think about is, 1680 01:23:23,040 --> 01:23:26,961 "All right, 20 more minutes, I get to see the smile." 1681 01:23:27,545 --> 01:23:28,963 It's just like 1682 01:23:29,630 --> 01:23:32,466 It starts my day, that smile 1683 01:23:40,433 --> 01:23:44,270 I won best smile at our sorority three years straight, right, Katherine? 1684 01:23:45,938 --> 01:23:48,399 Not little Bucky here 1685 01:23:53,279 --> 01:23:56,157 Okay, here we go! Hi, yes! 1686 01:23:57,116 --> 01:24:00,619 We do the sheep dance, right? We want to live and dance more, yes 1687 01:24:00,786 --> 01:24:05,082 Okay, all right. Here we go. Eat some food Eat the food. Come on, here we go. 1688 01:24:05,166 --> 01:24:06,250 Couple more zings 1689 01:24:06,333 --> 01:24:10,629 Make the milk. Yes, he makes the milk You love it. You give milk to the baby. 1690 01:24:10,755 --> 01:24:11,756 All right 1691 01:24:11,839 --> 01:24:13,674 One, two, three, here we go! 1692 01:24:14,633 --> 01:24:15,926 Come on! 1693 01:24:16,135 --> 01:24:18,304 We got a couple things that I know how to do! 1694 01:24:18,971 --> 01:24:21,015 Yes, this is a good test, so why not? 1695 01:24:21,849 --> 01:24:23,809 All right. Here we go 1696 01:24:25,936 --> 01:24:27,354 You're killing him! 1697 01:24:36,822 --> 01:24:39,575 The sheep lives! The sheep lives! 1698 01:24:39,658 --> 01:24:42,870 Yes! Here we go, one more time Here we go. Yes! 1699 01:24:43,704 --> 01:24:45,956 This is what I did. You saw this. Yes! 1700 01:24:46,040 --> 01:24:48,250 Welcome. I am Tanner Patrick, Jr 1701 01:24:48,334 --> 01:24:52,838 We're ready for the legendary Oceano's Hula Competition. 1702 01:24:53,172 --> 01:24:54,507 Legendary? Never heard of it! 1703 01:24:56,342 --> 01:24:59,178 Legendary like the day you were once sober So... 1704 01:25:00,513 --> 01:25:02,681 She talks the talk, who will walk the walk 1705 01:25:02,848 --> 01:25:05,601 and walk with me to the Ladies' Lounge? Feeling it... 1706 01:25:05,684 --> 01:25:07,686 I think you should do it, Devlin 1707 01:25:07,812 --> 01:25:09,313 Because she would win 1708 01:25:11,857 --> 01:25:13,859 - I'll do it! - Good show! 1709 01:25:13,984 --> 01:25:16,070 Katherine? How about you? 1710 01:25:16,237 --> 01:25:18,989 Come on, this isn't Katherine's thing Right, Katherine? 1711 01:25:19,156 --> 01:25:20,741 No, no, not my 1712 01:25:20,908 --> 01:25:22,827 Her speed. Not mine 1713 01:25:23,160 --> 01:25:26,664 Some people are just more comfortable on the sidelines, so don'tjudge her, honey 1714 01:25:27,248 --> 01:25:30,084 Your honesty, your fearlessness, and your tickle spot. 1715 01:25:30,251 --> 01:25:33,337 Your creativity, your bravery and your taffy nipples. 1716 01:25:34,713 --> 01:25:36,757 Let's go! How do I win this thing? 1717 01:25:37,591 --> 01:25:38,884 I'm gonna do this hula thing 1718 01:25:39,176 --> 01:25:40,553 Don't feel any pressure, Katherine 1719 01:25:40,761 --> 01:25:42,930 I'm not the one who should feel the pressure 1720 01:25:45,724 --> 01:25:50,354 Ladies and gentlemen, a warm welcome for tonight's hula girls 1721 01:25:54,900 --> 01:25:57,153 These are my stars. And here's the key 1722 01:25:57,236 --> 01:25:59,697 you decide how brightly they shine tonight 1723 01:25:59,864 --> 01:26:03,450 You the audience, judge and jury I like what I see. 1724 01:26:06,287 --> 01:26:08,789 This is my hula palooza 1725 01:26:09,415 --> 01:26:14,253 You're the judges. You're voting for your favorite hula girl 1726 01:26:15,087 --> 01:26:16,255 How about we do one over here? 1727 01:26:16,422 --> 01:26:18,716 Can I get a little something-something up here in the corner? 1728 01:26:21,093 --> 01:26:23,053 Has anybody got a conscience here tonight? 1729 01:26:23,137 --> 01:26:24,972 Come on, you did well. You did well 1730 01:26:26,974 --> 01:26:28,100 lfstough 1731 01:26:28,475 --> 01:26:30,144 What do I got over here? Anybody? 1732 01:26:30,978 --> 01:26:33,230 How tall do you think that guy is? 1733 01:26:33,564 --> 01:26:35,232 Who? The Tanner guy? I don't know 1734 01:26:35,399 --> 01:26:38,235 Yeah, that Tanner. Looks pretty tall, I'd say he's like 6'3' 1735 01:26:38,402 --> 01:26:39,445 Yeah, I don't know 1736 01:26:39,612 --> 01:26:41,447 Can I get a positive reaction? 1737 01:26:42,990 --> 01:26:44,241 Thank you 1738 01:26:44,909 --> 01:26:47,077 How about this little girl? Let's make her night. 1739 01:26:47,244 --> 01:26:48,621 How about it? 1740 01:26:48,787 --> 01:26:52,583 I like it. Keep the mojo going. How about Big Country in the corner? 1741 01:26:52,750 --> 01:26:53,959 Do I got 1742 01:26:55,794 --> 01:26:56,795 sorry 1743 01:26:56,921 --> 01:26:58,255 This is fixed! 1744 01:26:59,006 --> 01:27:01,175 Tall fellow is lucky to get away 1745 01:27:01,675 --> 01:27:03,677 Let's pick up the tempo, boys 1746 01:27:03,844 --> 01:27:05,179 What? What is that? 1747 01:27:08,849 --> 01:27:10,851 Okay. This is a lot faster 1748 01:27:44,176 --> 01:27:45,386 Fabulous! 1749 01:27:56,897 --> 01:27:58,524 Yeah, baby! 1750 01:28:16,333 --> 01:28:17,501 What? 1751 01:28:19,086 --> 01:28:20,212 Come on 1752 01:28:35,894 --> 01:28:37,646 Nobody got cheated here tonight 1753 01:28:37,730 --> 01:28:41,191 These are two of the hottest chicks we have ever had up here. 1754 01:28:41,275 --> 01:28:46,530 But ourjob is not done. I need your help, because I need a winner 1755 01:28:46,613 --> 01:28:47,740 Let me hear you 1756 01:28:49,241 --> 01:28:50,617 Beautiful! 1757 01:28:51,285 --> 01:28:54,538 Wow, that is gonna be tough to beat Let's not kid anybody. 1758 01:28:54,621 --> 01:28:55,914 How about over here? 1759 01:28:58,917 --> 01:29:01,628 There you have it. We have ourselves 1760 01:29:02,629 --> 01:29:04,631 That's my Boo-Boo! 1761 01:29:05,924 --> 01:29:08,260 A tie! We have ourselves a tie 1762 01:29:08,427 --> 01:29:10,637 That's great. We both win. Good 1763 01:29:10,929 --> 01:29:12,264 What's the tiebreaker? 1764 01:29:13,432 --> 01:29:15,434 What's the tiebreaker? 1765 01:29:17,478 --> 01:29:19,688 This is how we settle ties in my house 1766 01:29:19,772 --> 01:29:21,857 It's something I like to call Coconut Smoochie. 1767 01:29:21,940 --> 01:29:25,527 The object of the game is, the coconut is in their midsections 1768 01:29:25,611 --> 01:29:28,572 It must move all the way up to their mouths without the use of their hands. 1769 01:29:28,655 --> 01:29:29,740 Focus, focus 1770 01:29:29,823 --> 01:29:33,327 If you touch the coconut you are disqualified. 1771 01:29:33,494 --> 01:29:37,122 Okay. Ready? One, two, three, get coconutty! 1772 01:29:37,289 --> 01:29:39,124 Okay. Slow 1773 01:29:41,460 --> 01:29:43,420 Okay, all right. Calm down, calm down 1774 01:29:43,587 --> 01:29:45,672 - Let me just bring it up to you - Okay, do it. 1775 01:29:46,256 --> 01:29:48,133 Get it up there. Come on 1776 01:29:48,300 --> 01:29:49,676 Bring your coconuts down to me 1777 01:29:49,843 --> 01:29:51,178 Okay. Oh, my coconuts 1778 01:29:51,345 --> 01:29:52,971 - Pull up. All right - I'm so low. 1779 01:29:53,138 --> 01:29:55,516 Squeeze your coconuts. Squeeze them 1780 01:29:55,682 --> 01:29:58,644 Use every crevice you can. Don't be afraid 1781 01:29:58,811 --> 01:30:01,647 - I can't get it up here - I'm trying. 1782 01:30:02,022 --> 01:30:03,649 Would you be quiet? 1783 01:30:03,982 --> 01:30:05,734 - Stay there - Wait. 1784 01:30:05,818 --> 01:30:07,986 - Okay, that's good - Ls that good? 1785 01:30:08,362 --> 01:30:09,613 Sorry about this, by the way 1786 01:30:09,696 --> 01:30:11,031 Really? You're really sorry about this? 1787 01:30:11,198 --> 01:30:12,533 No, I'm not. I like it 1788 01:30:14,368 --> 01:30:15,494 Yeah! 1789 01:30:15,661 --> 01:30:18,664 Pick it up, pick it up! Not with your hands, you buffoon! 1790 01:30:18,831 --> 01:30:19,873 Come on! 1791 01:30:20,040 --> 01:30:21,542 - Look what he's doing! - What happened? 1792 01:30:21,708 --> 01:30:22,876 I can't see 1793 01:30:23,043 --> 01:30:25,838 Focus. Take it slow, take it slow 1794 01:30:26,004 --> 01:30:27,548 He's got it! 1795 01:30:29,716 --> 01:30:32,010 That's not fair. He can't do that 1796 01:30:32,177 --> 01:30:33,971 No, that's a clean pick-up right there 1797 01:30:34,138 --> 01:30:35,848 Okay. Bring it over here 1798 01:30:36,807 --> 01:30:38,517 Go! Go! Go! 1799 01:30:39,059 --> 01:30:40,352 I got it 1800 01:30:44,064 --> 01:30:45,566 There's still time. Let's go 1801 01:30:45,732 --> 01:30:48,735 You can touch each other, you cannot touch the coconut 1802 01:30:48,902 --> 01:30:50,070 Hang on, hang on 1803 01:30:51,238 --> 01:30:53,198 - What's going on? - What is that? What do you use? 1804 01:30:53,365 --> 01:30:55,451 - What's the hold-up? - You still got that perfume on, huh? 1805 01:30:55,534 --> 01:30:57,828 - Would you stop it? - Smells good. Come on, let's go 1806 01:30:57,911 --> 01:30:59,913 Have you got it to your mouth yet, Boo-Boo? 1807 01:31:00,080 --> 01:31:03,667 Stop putting your ass in my face 1808 01:31:03,834 --> 01:31:06,211 - I like it. - That's my girl. Okay 1809 01:31:09,256 --> 01:31:12,384 We've got a winner! We have a winner! We have a winner. 1810 01:31:13,093 --> 01:31:15,762 Coconut Smoochie champions right here 1811 01:31:16,847 --> 01:31:17,890 Awesome 1812 01:31:18,015 --> 01:31:19,933 You suck at everything! 1813 01:31:21,226 --> 01:31:22,394 Boo-Boo 1814 01:31:22,769 --> 01:31:25,522 Great teamwork, guys. How long have you two been married? 1815 01:31:25,606 --> 01:31:27,357 - Eight years - Ten years. 1816 01:31:27,441 --> 01:31:28,859 - Ten years - Eight. 1817 01:31:28,942 --> 01:31:30,694 - Very long time. - A very long time 1818 01:31:30,944 --> 01:31:33,071 - Did you see the look on her face? - Yes. 1819 01:31:33,197 --> 01:31:35,324 Do you understand what joy that brought me? 1820 01:31:35,407 --> 01:31:38,076 How about the look on her face when you were doing the juggling, though? 1821 01:31:38,202 --> 01:31:41,038 - The juggling was the highlight for me. - That was pretty good. You liked that? 1822 01:31:41,121 --> 01:31:42,206 It was so cute 1823 01:31:42,289 --> 01:31:44,541 And when you talked about her arms getting done? 1824 01:31:44,625 --> 01:31:47,628 The good news is she's beating the hell out of the iPod guy right now. 1825 01:31:47,794 --> 01:31:48,879 Right now, I know 1826 01:31:50,297 --> 01:31:52,424 That was good. That was really fun 1827 01:31:52,633 --> 01:31:56,637 You know what, I think that was the first time that you and I have ever 1828 01:31:57,763 --> 01:32:00,974 gone out, you know, just us 1829 01:32:01,141 --> 01:32:04,144 I know. I do. I feel bad for the Soul Patch now 1830 01:32:04,811 --> 01:32:05,896 O 1831 01:32:05,979 --> 01:32:07,439 Now that you've been out with a real man 1832 01:32:07,606 --> 01:32:10,442 And by a real man, I mean a man who showers 1833 01:32:12,236 --> 01:32:17,449 I think it's so adorable how obsessed you are with this guy 1834 01:32:17,574 --> 01:32:19,785 I just can't picture you guys on a date, you know what I mean? 1835 01:32:19,952 --> 01:32:21,620 Who said it was a date ever? 1836 01:32:21,828 --> 01:32:23,163 - You - You 1837 01:32:23,330 --> 01:32:25,457 You get very excited when you talk to this man 1838 01:32:25,624 --> 01:32:29,545 Listen, Dr. Gervitz is moving his practice to New York City. 1839 01:32:29,628 --> 01:32:30,671 Yeah 1840 01:32:30,796 --> 01:32:33,298 Brian is not gonna go with him, and he 1841 01:32:33,590 --> 01:32:36,176 He's just been asking me if 1842 01:32:37,094 --> 01:32:40,180 I would want to, you know, replace him 1843 01:32:40,764 --> 01:32:42,015 You're going? 1844 01:32:42,683 --> 01:32:43,850 O 1845 01:32:44,268 --> 01:32:45,644 You can't do that to me 1846 01:32:45,811 --> 01:32:50,190 I just wanted to see how you'd react. Look at you. You can't live without me 1847 01:32:50,357 --> 01:32:53,151 "What do I do? How do I sign it? How do I pay for it?" 1848 01:32:53,277 --> 01:32:56,113 No. You kind of played with me a little bit, though. 1849 01:32:56,196 --> 01:32:58,865 You could've told me that earlier 1850 01:32:58,991 --> 01:33:02,244 You're just messing with me? Trying to get me a little jealous, weren't you? 1851 01:33:02,327 --> 01:33:05,205 No. I just was having fun teasing you 1852 01:33:05,372 --> 01:33:07,833 That was fun. Why? Were you jealous? 1853 01:33:08,333 --> 01:33:11,670 No. Get outta here. Was ljealous? No 1854 01:33:11,795 --> 01:33:15,465 Look at you. You're grinning, you can't stop what is that smile? 1855 01:33:15,549 --> 01:33:17,009 I didn't know you had that many teeth 1856 01:33:17,175 --> 01:33:19,845 I know. I got like 55 teeth 1857 01:33:22,347 --> 01:33:23,849 No. So there's nothing? 1858 01:33:24,057 --> 01:33:26,226 You and... There's nothing? 1859 01:33:26,560 --> 01:33:27,728 No love connection? 1860 01:33:27,894 --> 01:33:30,147 No. Nothing 1861 01:33:30,230 --> 01:33:32,316 Well, then, that's a shame 1862 01:33:32,524 --> 01:33:33,525 What? 1863 01:33:34,067 --> 01:33:36,653 That coconut getting in the way tonight 1864 01:33:36,820 --> 01:33:38,030 That's a shame, don't you think? 1865 01:33:38,196 --> 01:33:39,823 - No. - No, that was bad 1866 01:33:39,990 --> 01:33:42,242 The coconut. You're lucky that coconut was there 1867 01:33:42,409 --> 01:33:45,370 You couldn't... You wouldn't have been able to handle it 1868 01:33:45,746 --> 01:33:47,247 Maybe you're right 1869 01:33:50,334 --> 01:33:53,045 You got more tricks that I don't know about? 1870 01:33:53,211 --> 01:33:55,589 - I don't know - Okay. 1871 01:33:55,839 --> 01:33:58,050 I don't know anything 1872 01:33:58,717 --> 01:33:59,760 - Mommy? - Mommy? 1873 01:34:01,678 --> 01:34:05,057 Hi, guys! Hey! What're you doing? 1874 01:34:05,265 --> 01:34:08,268 - The babysitter fell asleep - Great. 1875 01:34:08,435 --> 01:34:11,271 I mean, come on, it's like a Hawaiian Rosa, huh? 1876 01:34:12,105 --> 01:34:13,440 - Is it? - Oh, my God 1877 01:34:13,607 --> 01:34:15,859 - Yeah, that's asleep - Look at that. 1878 01:34:20,405 --> 01:34:22,282 - Wow. - She's out deep 1879 01:34:22,449 --> 01:34:23,909 All right. Good to see you guys 1880 01:34:24,076 --> 01:34:25,535 Good night 1881 01:34:25,744 --> 01:34:27,996 Good job. One more day of lying, guys 1882 01:34:28,080 --> 01:34:29,956 We're almost done. Home stretch 1883 01:34:30,123 --> 01:34:32,876 All right. So, you gotta go to sleep 1884 01:34:33,418 --> 01:34:34,503 Yeah 1885 01:34:34,586 --> 01:34:36,421 - Tired? - Yes. Good night 1886 01:34:36,588 --> 01:34:38,298 - Okay. That was fun - Good job. 1887 01:34:40,384 --> 01:34:41,885 - Good night - Good night 1888 01:34:42,219 --> 01:34:43,804 - Good night - All right. 1889 01:34:43,970 --> 01:34:45,055 Okay, Danny 1890 01:34:45,639 --> 01:34:47,641 Okay, good luck. I'll see you in the morning 1891 01:35:09,955 --> 01:35:12,124 She ain't going to sleep 1892 01:35:22,467 --> 01:35:25,512 Hello! There he is, Danny! 1893 01:35:25,679 --> 01:35:26,847 It's nice to meet you 1894 01:35:27,013 --> 01:35:29,266 - Where were you going? - What? 1895 01:35:29,349 --> 01:35:31,268 I was going... I was going to 1896 01:35:31,435 --> 01:35:33,687 Where were you guys? I was looking for you guys at 1897 01:35:33,854 --> 01:35:35,355 What happened? How was the dinner? 1898 01:35:36,523 --> 01:35:40,026 Dolph gave mouth-to-mouth to a sheep 1899 01:35:40,193 --> 01:35:41,653 Yeah. And then we had a few drinks 1900 01:35:41,820 --> 01:35:45,949 Yes. It was choking and so I gave him sheep-P-R 1901 01:35:47,659 --> 01:35:50,370 But he was the black sheep of the family 1902 01:35:50,537 --> 01:35:54,541 but he was also white, if that makes any sense 1903 01:35:55,333 --> 01:35:59,796 And we've been talking about how amazing this trip has been and how amazing you are 1904 01:35:59,880 --> 01:36:03,300 Yeah, all joking aside, it really has been first-class 1905 01:36:03,467 --> 01:36:06,470 And that, if the kids and I hadn't kept you so busy, 1906 01:36:06,636 --> 01:36:08,597 that you might've had the time to do something 1907 01:36:08,680 --> 01:36:10,474 you've been thinking about doing? 1908 01:36:10,640 --> 01:36:12,642 The one ringy-dingy? 1909 01:36:13,894 --> 01:36:15,854 Yeah, you told her about that? 1910 01:36:16,229 --> 01:36:18,857 I don't need you to get me a ring, Danny 1911 01:36:18,982 --> 01:36:21,318 Let's just get married. Right here 1912 01:36:21,818 --> 01:36:22,861 What now? 1913 01:36:22,986 --> 01:36:26,698 Why not? We're in Hawaii Let's do it tomorrow. 1914 01:36:27,199 --> 01:36:29,785 I mean, this has felt special from the moment that we met 1915 01:36:29,868 --> 01:36:31,828 And I've seen the way that you are with the kids, 1916 01:36:31,912 --> 01:36:34,581 and it's exactly the way I always imagined my husband would be. 1917 01:36:34,748 --> 01:36:36,666 Oh, man 1918 01:36:37,000 --> 01:36:40,754 I don't wanna wait. I just wanna start my life with you 1919 01:36:44,341 --> 01:36:45,509 Hi! 1920 01:36:47,928 --> 01:36:49,888 Hi, everybody! 1921 01:36:50,055 --> 01:36:51,223 Dolph 1922 01:36:51,598 --> 01:36:54,893 There you are. I have been looking everywhere for you 1923 01:36:55,060 --> 01:36:58,563 - For me? - Yes. Come here. Come on, let's go 1924 01:36:58,688 --> 01:37:00,732 - No way, we can't go - What? 1925 01:37:00,857 --> 01:37:02,400 My little Oompa Loompa 1926 01:37:02,776 --> 01:37:04,444 Danny and Palmer 1927 01:37:04,611 --> 01:37:07,572 they're getting married tomorrow! 1928 01:37:08,865 --> 01:37:11,827 - What? - No, no, I mean, why? 1929 01:37:11,910 --> 01:37:14,079 Yeah, we are. But what do you think? 1930 01:37:14,246 --> 01:37:16,081 What do you mean, what do I think? 1931 01:37:16,414 --> 01:37:20,877 I mean, what does it matter what I think? I think that's great. 1932 01:37:20,961 --> 01:37:22,587 Thank you, Devlin 1933 01:37:22,921 --> 01:37:24,714 I really hope that you can be there tomorrow 1934 01:37:25,131 --> 01:37:26,258 I can't 1935 01:37:26,424 --> 01:37:31,137 It's really... It's bad luck for the ex to be at the wedding 1936 01:37:31,304 --> 01:37:32,430 Come on, Dolph. Let's go 1937 01:37:33,098 --> 01:37:34,558 Where are we going? They are here 1938 01:37:34,641 --> 01:37:35,809 We gotta have the sweet sex 1939 01:37:35,976 --> 01:37:37,310 - What? - Okay? Come on 1940 01:37:37,477 --> 01:37:40,146 Okay. Congratulations, though 1941 01:37:57,581 --> 01:37:59,165 I'm trying them on as we speak 1942 01:37:59,332 --> 01:38:00,584 I know, but I just bought them 1943 01:38:00,750 --> 01:38:04,504 I had some with me and the one I have on is pretty amazing 1944 01:39:11,613 --> 01:39:13,782 Michael! 1945 01:39:16,242 --> 01:39:17,577 Nincompoop! 1946 01:39:19,037 --> 01:39:20,747 Nincompoopenschticl 1947 01:39:20,914 --> 01:39:23,583 Michael, the crap is the stinking 1948 01:39:39,391 --> 01:39:42,560 - Hello? - Hey, you up? 1949 01:39:43,061 --> 01:39:46,731 Hi. Yeah. Glad you called 1950 01:39:47,899 --> 01:39:49,109 Are you? 1951 01:39:51,236 --> 01:39:54,072 Yeah, I was just checking flights 1952 01:39:54,239 --> 01:39:57,617 for your parents tomorrow and I found. 1953 01:39:57,784 --> 01:40:00,245 No, no, no. You don't have to do that 1954 01:40:00,745 --> 01:40:04,958 Her parents aren't coming in and she wants it to be kind of elope-y 1955 01:40:05,583 --> 01:40:06,960 Elope-V 1956 01:40:07,627 --> 01:40:08,795 Got it 1957 01:40:08,920 --> 01:40:12,924 Okay, so, are you all set for what you need to wear tomorrow? 1958 01:40:13,591 --> 01:40:16,261 Do you think this is a good idea? 1959 01:40:16,928 --> 01:40:18,930 What? The wedding? 1960 01:40:19,305 --> 01:40:23,309 Yeah, the wedding... Just the whole Palmer thing 1961 01:40:25,979 --> 01:40:29,315 Well, that's why we came out here, right? 1962 01:40:29,983 --> 01:40:31,484 I guess 1963 01:40:32,610 --> 01:40:34,154 You don't think it's crazy? 1964 01:40:39,117 --> 01:40:42,495 Danny, you don't need my permission 1965 01:40:43,955 --> 01:40:45,957 Okay? You're a big boy 1966 01:40:46,124 --> 01:40:47,667 I know, I just 1967 01:40:51,838 --> 01:40:54,299 I know if I do this that 1968 01:40:55,175 --> 01:41:00,638 Just, things could get weird between you and me at the office, so 1969 01:41:01,639 --> 01:41:04,184 Well, you're not gonna have to worry about that. 1970 01:41:06,519 --> 01:41:08,354 You going to New York? 1971 01:41:08,521 --> 01:41:11,566 Yeah. I just, you know, I mean 1972 01:41:12,192 --> 01:41:15,028 As much as I was looking forward to you 1973 01:41:15,862 --> 01:41:18,323 reconstructing my face, 1974 01:41:19,824 --> 01:41:22,702 I really just need to start fresh, you know? 1975 01:41:25,497 --> 01:41:27,332 Hello, are you there? 1976 01:41:28,333 --> 01:41:29,834 You understand? 1977 01:41:31,044 --> 01:41:32,504 I guess 1978 01:41:34,005 --> 01:41:36,883 It's an awful lot of guessing coming through this phone. 1979 01:41:38,384 --> 01:41:42,222 I've been divorced, I have two kids, I don't have time for guessing. 1980 01:41:47,060 --> 01:41:48,645 Got a big day tomorrow, Doc, all right? 1981 01:41:48,728 --> 01:41:51,689 So why don't you just get yourself some sleep? 1982 01:42:06,079 --> 01:42:08,206 So that's it. You have nothing else to worry about 1983 01:42:08,373 --> 01:42:10,416 We have the flowers, the music and the location 1984 01:42:10,583 --> 01:42:12,877 which is ha-wowie, by the way you're gonna love it. 1985 01:42:13,044 --> 01:42:15,130 I promise you it is going to be 1986 01:42:15,213 --> 01:42:18,216 the most wonderful day of your life guaranteed. 1987 01:42:18,383 --> 01:42:20,176 - Devlin - Yeah. 1988 01:42:20,260 --> 01:42:21,553 Palmer! I didn't 1989 01:42:25,265 --> 01:42:29,561 Well, you just look absolutely beautiful 1990 01:42:30,103 --> 01:42:32,063 - Really? Thank you - Yes. 1991 01:42:32,730 --> 01:42:35,441 - Devlin, can I ask you something? - 'Course. 1992 01:42:36,734 --> 01:42:38,736 Do you still want to be with Danny? 1993 01:42:40,280 --> 01:42:43,074 - Wait. What? - Because I think that 1994 01:42:44,784 --> 01:42:48,079 he still may be in love with you 1995 01:42:49,581 --> 01:42:50,748 Really? 1996 01:42:52,917 --> 01:42:54,961 Why would you think that? 1997 01:42:55,420 --> 01:42:58,423 He's always glowing when you're around 1998 01:42:58,590 --> 01:43:01,926 And he laughs at yourjokes He doesn't laugh at mine. 1999 01:43:02,093 --> 01:43:06,431 Palmer, trust me, there is nothing between me and Danny 2000 01:43:06,764 --> 01:43:08,474 We're just, you know 2001 01:43:08,975 --> 01:43:10,268 we're familiar 2002 01:43:11,769 --> 01:43:13,479 And you are the girl for him 2003 01:43:14,480 --> 01:43:15,940 He even told me that last night 2004 01:43:16,608 --> 01:43:19,611 My God, Devlin, this is such a relief 2005 01:43:19,986 --> 01:43:23,615 because I could never stand a chance going up against you. 2006 01:43:23,781 --> 01:43:25,658 Turn around. Tell me if this fits 2007 01:43:25,825 --> 01:43:29,120 - Put the hanger up your nose - Stop! 2008 01:43:40,131 --> 01:43:41,341 Excuse me 2009 01:43:41,507 --> 01:43:42,967 - Here you go - Thank you. 2010 01:43:43,134 --> 01:43:44,344 Katherine! 2011 01:43:44,636 --> 01:43:46,012 - Katherine! - Oh, Devlin 2012 01:43:46,179 --> 01:43:48,973 - That was so much fun last night - I know. 2013 01:43:49,349 --> 01:43:52,352 I am still trying to work out how you cheated 2014 01:43:53,019 --> 01:43:55,480 I didn't. That's what happened 2015 01:43:55,647 --> 01:43:57,857 So, where's Danny? 2016 01:43:59,984 --> 01:44:01,194 Devlin 2017 01:44:01,986 --> 01:44:04,989 Danny's at his wedding 2018 01:44:05,490 --> 01:44:06,658 Come again? 2019 01:44:06,824 --> 01:44:08,368 I was never married to him 2020 01:44:09,702 --> 01:44:11,537 All a big lie that I made up 2021 01:44:11,704 --> 01:44:12,997 VVhy? 2022 01:44:13,539 --> 01:44:18,169 Cause I couldn't stand the thought of you knowing the truth. 2023 01:44:18,253 --> 01:44:19,337 Really? 2024 01:44:19,837 --> 01:44:22,507 So, yeah, I'm a single mother 2025 01:44:23,049 --> 01:44:26,052 I have two kids that I love more than anything in the world 2026 01:44:26,219 --> 01:44:28,012 I drive a Honda 2027 01:44:28,179 --> 01:44:30,181 Still have dial-up internet 2028 01:44:30,723 --> 01:44:34,394 I got a 2.7 GPA in college, not a 3.4 2029 01:44:35,186 --> 01:44:36,396 And while I'm at it telling the truth 2030 01:44:37,230 --> 01:44:38,606 I named my kids' poop after you 2031 01:44:40,733 --> 01:44:44,404 And I work for Danny. I'm his assistant That's it. 2032 01:44:44,862 --> 01:44:50,034 Really, I would never have guessed this I mean, you two had a real connection. 2033 01:44:51,244 --> 01:44:54,706 He's great. He's the greatest guy 2034 01:44:56,708 --> 01:44:59,377 And I might even be in love with him, but 2035 01:45:00,378 --> 01:45:02,338 that doesn't really matter at this moment 2036 01:45:02,422 --> 01:45:06,801 because he is getting married to another person right now. 2037 01:45:09,095 --> 01:45:10,930 Ian and I are breaking up 2038 01:45:11,723 --> 01:45:14,934 What? What happened? 2039 01:45:16,269 --> 01:45:18,438 Well, for starters, he's gay 2040 01:45:18,604 --> 01:45:21,399 - He's gay? - I mean, look at him 2041 01:45:21,566 --> 01:45:25,069 That's a strong muscle right there I'm squeezing. 2042 01:45:25,611 --> 01:45:29,991 Devlin, I gotta tell you, last night with the ass grab of the coconut 2043 01:45:30,074 --> 01:45:32,076 little bit of a red flag 2044 01:45:33,745 --> 01:45:35,788 I've seen him do that with the soap 2045 01:45:42,587 --> 01:45:44,088 What about the iPod? 2046 01:45:44,255 --> 01:45:47,258 - He didn't invent shit - He didn't? 2047 01:45:47,425 --> 01:45:52,263 No! He made his money suing the Dodgers after he got hit by a foul ball. 2048 01:45:53,598 --> 01:45:56,976 Oh, God! That's so... What? 2049 01:45:57,977 --> 01:45:59,645 Well, this is different 2050 01:45:59,937 --> 01:46:04,776 Yeah, why didn't we try this truth-telling thing before? 2051 01:46:05,318 --> 01:46:06,611 I don't know 2052 01:46:07,612 --> 01:46:09,280 - He - He 2053 01:46:10,615 --> 01:46:12,784 - What? - That's nice 2054 01:46:12,950 --> 01:46:15,161 It's nice to tell the truth. That's good 2055 01:46:15,328 --> 01:46:16,788 The truth is fun, isn't it? 2056 01:46:16,954 --> 01:46:20,124 Like, were you telling the truth when you said you might be in love with me? 2057 01:46:20,833 --> 01:46:22,627 - I'm gonna leave you two - Okay. 2058 01:46:22,794 --> 01:46:24,670 - I'm gonna go get a divorce - Good luck. 2059 01:46:30,176 --> 01:46:32,637 Wait, where are my kids? 2060 01:46:33,137 --> 01:46:35,473 Palmer took them out for ice cream 2061 01:46:36,307 --> 01:46:38,601 So, how was the wedding? 2062 01:46:38,684 --> 01:46:40,019 Okay. All right 2063 01:46:40,144 --> 01:46:44,107 So, we're standing on top of this beautiful cliff 2064 01:46:44,190 --> 01:46:49,112 I start looking out into the Pacific and I think to myself, 2065 01:46:49,195 --> 01:46:53,991 Wow. I am about to start my life 2066 01:46:54,534 --> 01:46:56,077 with the one I love 2067 01:46:57,870 --> 01:47:02,333 And the only problem was, the one I love was not with me 2068 01:47:03,668 --> 01:47:06,045 - She wasn't? - She was not 2069 01:47:07,046 --> 01:47:08,840 So you didn't? 2070 01:47:09,006 --> 01:47:11,509 - I couldn't. - You couldn't 2071 01:47:12,176 --> 01:47:17,890 I mean, don't we have something extra happening with us? 2072 01:47:19,684 --> 01:47:21,227 Danny, I 2073 01:47:23,563 --> 01:47:30,194 What happens when we're not on fake-cation and you wake up and realize this is real? 2074 01:47:30,361 --> 01:47:33,239 You are the only real thing I've ever had in my life. 2075 01:47:33,406 --> 01:47:35,575 Danny, come on, man. I don't 2076 01:47:35,741 --> 01:47:38,870 She's beautiful and she's I'm not twenty-three. 2077 01:47:40,580 --> 01:47:42,540 I'm not that 2078 01:47:42,748 --> 01:47:47,420 She's good, she's very nice, there's only one problem. She's not you 2079 01:47:47,712 --> 01:47:48,754 She's not you 2080 01:47:49,755 --> 01:47:51,424 I have two kids 2081 01:47:51,757 --> 01:47:55,094 I can'tjust drive them off a cliff. You know? 2082 01:47:55,553 --> 01:47:59,056 I love those kids more than anything in the world, Guv'nor. 2083 01:48:00,725 --> 01:48:04,061 No, I wanna be with those guys like 23 hours a day. 2084 01:48:04,395 --> 01:48:06,230 What about the other hour? 2085 01:48:17,617 --> 01:48:18,951 Good job! 2086 01:48:19,118 --> 01:48:22,121 - That's what I'm talking about - Whatever! 2087 01:48:26,792 --> 01:48:30,296 Well, everything turned out pretty good for everybody. 2088 01:48:30,463 --> 01:48:33,424 Squirt got to swim with the dolphins 2089 01:48:36,594 --> 01:48:39,847 Palmer met some tennis player her own age on the plane ride home, 2090 01:48:39,931 --> 01:48:42,308 who's an even bigger fan of 'N Sync 2091 01:48:44,101 --> 01:48:46,646 And Maggie's about to start a three-week acting class 2092 01:48:46,771 --> 01:48:48,940 with the actual Dolph Lundgren 2093 01:48:50,107 --> 01:48:51,984 And what happened for me? 2094 01:48:52,276 --> 01:48:55,488 Well, I'm finally wearing my wedding ring for real. 2095 01:48:55,655 --> 01:48:57,615 And now when women ask me about it, 2096 01:48:57,782 --> 01:49:01,160 I'm gonna tell them I'm married to a woman who doesn't beat me, 2097 01:49:01,327 --> 01:49:02,620 doesn't cheat on me, 2098 01:49:02,828 --> 01:49:05,748 doesn't drink... Well, doesn't drink that much 2099 01:49:05,831 --> 01:49:08,709 And who I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with. 2100 01:49:08,793 --> 01:49:11,546 A woman named Katherine 2101 01:49:11,629 --> 01:49:14,966 Would you like to dance with your wife Doctor Macoabee? 2102 01:49:15,174 --> 01:49:17,301 Yes, I would, Mrs. Maccabee 2103 01:49:17,510 --> 01:49:18,636 Yeah, it's okay 2104 01:49:20,972 --> 01:49:22,348 One more 2105 01:49:27,853 --> 01:49:30,690 You were right, Soul Patch is going hard on that bass 2106 01:49:30,856 --> 01:49:32,483 What did I tell you? 2107 01:49:36,320 --> 01:49:38,155 - Encore, man. I'm just kidding - Stop. 2108 01:49:43,327 --> 01:49:45,538 I get it. It is long and it's gross 2109 01:49:45,705 --> 01:49:48,374 You don't need wind for that thing to swing around.